Shadowkeep: Part 1

New series! We are reading through Shadowkeep, which is potentially the first videogame novelization ever! It was written by Alan Dean Foster and based on the videogame Shadowkeep by Spinnaker Software. We first heard about this book when we interviewed Seth Godin to ask him about the Worlds of Power series. 

The book is about a blacksmith’s apprentice named Practor Fime who takes on the quest to slay the demon Dal’brad who has taken up refuge in Shadowkeep, the deadliest fortress ever constructed.

00:00:00:05 - 00:00:08:04
Phil
And I wonder if they ever did it with video games things because they did it with a lot of comic book shit. Yeah, like Street Fighter would have made a lot of people happy.

00:00:08:18 - 00:00:13:09
Kevin
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You know what else makes a lot of people happy?

00:00:13:14 - 00:00:14:02
Phil
What's that?

00:00:14:16 - 00:00:43:16
Kevin
Hey there, everybody. Welcome back to Pixelate. My name is Kevin. Alongside with me, as always, is Phil. Hello. And today we are reading, recapping and reviewing what is potentially the first video game novelization ever written. 1984 is Shadow Key, written by the King of high end novelizations. Alan Dean Foster and based on the game, the same name by Spinnaker Software.

00:00:43:23 - 00:00:53:13
Phil
Oh, shit. Holy shit. We had to. We had to hit our one year anniversary before we finally did this thing.

00:00:53:20 - 00:00:58:17
Kevin
Yeah, we had to die. And this is this is a this is a deep cut right here.

00:00:58:20 - 00:01:03:19
Phil
Well, I mean, we actually had to talk to Seth Godin himself before we even knew that this was.

00:01:03:19 - 00:01:22:14
Kevin
Seth Godin who worked for Spinnaker Software at the time. Right. The only reason we knew about this is because we talked to Seth Godin about the worlds of power, and he is like, Oh, yeah, this wasn't the first time I did novelizations for like I was involved in getting the The Shadow keep novelization off the ground. And I was like.

00:01:22:19 - 00:01:32:16
Phil
Oh, sure, Shadow, keep writing your shadow. You know, the first ever video game novelization, it was like, Oh, I see. So this is relevant.

00:01:33:05 - 00:01:34:22
Kevin
Oh, okay. Sure.

00:01:35:02 - 00:01:36:16
Phil
All right. Sure. So I knew that.

00:01:37:10 - 00:02:08:01
Kevin
Would you like to know more? Right. And we did. And we did. We did like to know more. So just a little bit about the game. So Shadow Keep, it was released in 1984 for the Apple two. It was, uh, published by Spinnaker Software. And its claim to fame is the first computer game to ever be novelized, have Italian novelization.

00:02:08:01 - 00:02:35:05
Kevin
And they got the reason behind that is they wanted to get. They wanted to get Alan Dean Foster involved because at the time he was involved in basically all sci fi and fantasy type globalization. So they were like, All right, we're launching this thing. The only way it's going to launch proper properly is if we get a Italian novelization to come out alongside of it.

00:02:36:08 - 00:03:03:02
Kevin
So yeah, the game is pretty simple, straightforward. You choose, you create your party and you give them their names, their stats. It's basically dead like and it's a first person dungeon crawl as you go through shadow keep fighting monsters and eventually come face to face with Dale, Brad, the the ultimate demon villain of the game. And that's pretty much it.

00:03:03:09 - 00:03:22:12
Kevin
There's there's really no NPCs to speak of except for a innkeeper that you talked to at the beginning of the game, who you write down your name and your stats and all that stuff. It's just, it's just a it's like the precursor to a lot of these, like the, you know, the eye of the beholder and things like that.

00:03:22:12 - 00:03:26:21
Kevin
These first person dungeon crawling daddy like computer games.

00:03:27:06 - 00:03:41:16
Phil
Yeah. You look at it and you get the impression that, yeah, the classic gold box D and D. C. RPGs wouldn't be, you know, the games. They were without things like Shadow Cube. Yep.

00:03:42:01 - 00:03:48:03
Kevin
Yep, yep. So, Phil, tell me a little bit about Alan Dean Foster. Who the heck is this guy?

00:03:48:05 - 00:04:25:17
Phil
Alan Dean Foster writes like Jason Momoa fucks like prolifically and presumably with with a more than fair share of skill. This dude is like probably the most prolific author we've covered in in our whole series. This guy, not only is he like the Grand Puba of novelizations, he was the original novelization to he wrote the original novelization for Star Wars.

00:04:26:08 - 00:04:51:13
Phil
They gave they he was the ghostwriter. They gave the credit to George Lucas. And he even you know, people asked him if that stuck in his crawl. And he was like, no, no. I got I got to know that I wrote that. And that's all that matters to me. He wrote the novelization for Alien Aliens Alien three and then jump forward like two decades.

00:04:51:19 - 00:05:19:10
Phil
Alien Covenant out of the clear blue sky. He wrote the novelization for a Star Trek animated series that I wasn't aware of. I guess this was in the seventies, and he actually has a story credit for the Star Trek movie. And then he wrote the movie novelization for the 2009 Star Trek. So not only does he and. Oh, yeah.

00:05:19:10 - 00:05:54:17
Phil
And he wrote the novelization for Star Wars, the force Awakens, The Thing, The Crow, which is going to come into play with the book we're reading now, Dark Star, The Last Starfighter, Starman, The Dig Chronicles of Riddick. I think the and all this, by the way, while he's writing a shit ton of genre classics now, like the spell singer series Human Ex Commonwealth Montezuma's Strip, like all of these original series on top of everything else, the dude is a graphic maniac.

00:05:54:17 - 00:06:10:14
Phil
He, he, it's insane. And, and on top of that Terminator Transformers the God damn diner topia universe. You remember that? Did you read? They they would have commercials on TV for this diner topia. He wrote for that.

00:06:11:04 - 00:06:11:15
Kevin
For that.

00:06:12:08 - 00:06:36:15
Phil
The dude is a workhorse and and people love him. And I think I was telling you before the show, I think what's really interesting is a lot of these novelization people, they start out in a certain time period and they have a hot streak and then they kind of fall out, you know, and then they and they go off and do their own thing for a little while and they don't do much, many more of the work for hire stuff.

00:06:37:22 - 00:06:54:22
Phil
Alan Dean Foster has consistently worked through the seventies, eighties, nineties and aughts. Like, like I said, he, he wrote the Dark Star novelization. He wrote The Force Awakens novelization. Like he's all over the damn place.

00:06:55:14 - 00:06:59:23
Kevin
Yeah. So it's, it's it's remarkable how many decades that seventies, eighties.

00:06:59:23 - 00:07:11:03
Phil
Nineties, these art scenes, teens. I don't I don't see anything in the 2020s now. But at least five decades.

00:07:11:03 - 00:07:16:01
Kevin
Yeah. Five decades. Six if, if he has published something in the last couple of years.

00:07:16:01 - 00:07:27:10
Phil
But yeah. Which I'm sure he has like that's the thing you look at is bibliography and we've seen that with our interviews with these guys. These guys cannot be stopped. They, they will write forever.

00:07:27:10 - 00:07:32:03
Kevin
They will writes. Yeah, they have pen will write.

00:07:32:03 - 00:07:41:02
Phil
Exactly. I mean yeah. In a big way. And I mean the guy is the guy is still up and kicking. And I might know because we may have spoken to him.

00:07:41:13 - 00:07:46:15
Kevin
We may have we may have reached out to him. We'll see what happens with that.

00:07:47:03 - 00:07:51:17
Phil
See? We'll see. We've gotten lucky before. We got.

00:07:51:17 - 00:08:10:09
Kevin
Lucky before. So. Yes, yeah, yeah. We'll see. We'll see. So this book, the neat thing about this book, as I was researching the game, is like there's no real story in the game itself other than go kill big bad.

00:08:10:19 - 00:08:19:10
Phil
Okay that's what I wanted it because I had trouble finding any lets plays of this because there's a destiny to expansion. Shadow keep.

00:08:19:13 - 00:08:31:09
Kevin
Yes. Shadow Keep is a destiny to expansion. Let's put that out up front right now. Talking about destiny two in this in this series, we're talking about the original shadow keep.

00:08:31:09 - 00:08:32:05
Phil
Oh my God.

00:08:32:20 - 00:08:33:06
Kevin
Not.

00:08:33:18 - 00:08:36:04
Phil
Angry destiny nurse discover because.

00:08:37:05 - 00:08:42:00
Kevin
I want to I would like them to stay and listen to.

00:08:42:04 - 00:08:42:23
Phil
Absolutely.

00:08:43:06 - 00:09:00:04
Kevin
Maybe they'll learn something about something that isn't destiny two. Who knows? I mean, a lot of people like Destiny two. So maybe this is like and by the way, it's not on purpose is total accident. We didn't know that it's destiny two out of shadow keep expansion until like 15 minutes before we started.

00:09:00:07 - 00:09:06:22
Phil
Right, exactly. Yeah. Back off, man.

00:09:07:03 - 00:09:08:02
Kevin
Back off, man.

00:09:08:09 - 00:09:11:20
Phil
Look, we're we're ancient nerds. We're talking about the sea RPG.

00:09:12:05 - 00:09:15:20
Kevin
We're talking about the sea, of course, by spinnaker software.

00:09:16:00 - 00:09:17:07
Phil
Yeah, that does it.

00:09:17:11 - 00:09:42:18
Kevin
I of it much, man. By the way, I'm really lost. I like the fact that they call our main character man a lot. Yeah, because. Because they're saying it as if it's like man, as in he's a he's a human, right? They're calling him man. But I'm like, every time I hear it, it's I hear it like, as if it's the dude and like, right.

00:09:43:17 - 00:09:49:22
Phil
Man. And that comes into play with the first character that we notice him doing, which we'll get to but we'll get yeah.

00:09:49:22 - 00:09:50:16
Kevin
We don't want to get.

00:09:51:04 - 00:09:54:07
Phil
You're getting into some weird slang here in a fantasy world.

00:09:55:08 - 00:10:18:08
Kevin
So chapter one, let's just dove right into it. Let's do chapter one is set in the city of SAS Sabri and some of these names. I'm just guessing how they're pronounced because whatever there is a there's a mysterious this mysterious figure is riding a horse through town. It's actually a mule. Sorry. It's a mule.

00:10:18:08 - 00:10:22:01
Phil
It's like part mule and part it's. It's called demon dealing.

00:10:22:13 - 00:10:36:23
Kevin
Well, no, it. They said a donkey mixed with an okapi and okapi in okapi is a stripe. It's like, it's like related to a giraffe, but it looks more like a horse.

00:10:38:00 - 00:10:48:08
Phil
All right, this is embarrassing for me. I just. Oh, my God. That's adorable. Yeah, I thought I saw. I heard a copy, and I was like, yeah, sure. Fantasy demon crap, right?

00:10:48:09 - 00:10:48:21
Kevin
No, no.

00:10:48:21 - 00:10:50:03
Phil
It's an actual animal.

00:10:50:09 - 00:10:57:21
Kevin
It's an actual animal. It looks like it's almost a zebra. It's like somebody somebody see, somebody started making a zebra and gave up.

00:10:59:02 - 00:11:11:22
Phil
They sure didn't they when they they got really enthusiastic in the character creation for this animal for about 5 minutes, it's like and then they went, fuck it, start the game.

00:11:11:22 - 00:11:34:11
Kevin
So if you don't want to look it up, the the okapi is basically it's like horse sized except it is clearly in the giraffe family because it has a it has a giraffe head. It's just like imagine a giraffe but with regular proportions. And it's but is is but is that of a zebra. You got no copy.

00:11:34:11 - 00:11:43:12
Phil
I'm so glad that you that you actually knew this because I now have a new favorite animal. This is a durable.

00:11:43:12 - 00:11:48:18
Kevin
I just use this almost zebra, but not quite right.

00:11:50:01 - 00:11:54:16
Phil
Well, excuse me. Yeah, okay. So half donkey or half mule or whatever.

00:11:55:00 - 00:12:06:19
Kevin
It's like it's a mule that that is a cross between a donkey and an okapi, I believe, because mules typically typically are donkey and horse crossbreed.

00:12:06:19 - 00:12:07:19
Phil
Yes, that's right.

00:12:07:19 - 00:12:15:16
Kevin
This is and so this is donkey and okapi. Those two does that pairing work? I don't know. Don't think about it.

00:12:16:04 - 00:12:17:08
Phil
For a story.

00:12:17:08 - 00:12:17:14
Kevin
But.

00:12:18:15 - 00:12:19:06
Phil
Who cares?

00:12:20:04 - 00:12:47:17
Kevin
So he's he's riding through town. People are kind of like they're kind of weirded out by him. Just this this this person in a in a heavy gray cloak, can't even see their their features or their hands or whatever. Very ethereal. And he is looking for a man named shown Delft. What a.

00:12:47:21 - 00:12:48:09
Phil
Shame.

00:12:48:09 - 00:13:09:09
Kevin
But what a dream that is. That is a juicy name shown stealth is the town blacksmith. But at one time he was the greatest hero anyone had ever known. So basically the stranger is known as the spinner. And there's really like I said.

00:13:09:10 - 00:13:11:20
Phil
I think that has some to do with Spinnaker. Like that's a.

00:13:12:04 - 00:13:14:03
Kevin
Yeah, sure. I think it was okay.

00:13:15:11 - 00:13:16:02
Phil
Yeah. Fuck it.

00:13:16:02 - 00:13:31:15
Kevin
Why not fucking why not. Let's, let's say that this the spinner is is based on Spinnaker which is the producer of the game because the spinner is the one who is the producer of this story for the referred right.

00:13:31:15 - 00:13:34:19
Phil
Precisely.

00:13:34:19 - 00:13:42:01
Kevin
The spinner is like some weird interdimensional being and he needs a hero.

00:13:42:15 - 00:13:49:14
Phil
And the hero spinner is holding out for a hero till the end of the night.

00:13:50:00 - 00:14:04:14
Kevin
Yes, literally. Basically, he needs someone to go into shadow. Keep and stop the demon Dell Brad because wouldn't you know it, shadow, keep the dark fortress that everyone knows.

00:14:04:19 - 00:14:06:07
Phil
Everyone is everywhere.

00:14:06:07 - 00:14:18:14
Kevin
Everyone knows shadow keep their and they know not to go there. And it was a fortress built by a wizard with that really mouthful of a name. Gore with her. Gore with her.

00:14:18:14 - 00:14:23:11
Phil
Yeah, that's a that's the one you say out loud. You're like, oh, I don't I don't care for that one.

00:14:23:11 - 00:14:31:04
Kevin
Gore with their built the fortress of shadow keep to to so that nobody would bother him while he was studying time and space.

00:14:31:22 - 00:14:33:19
Phil
Which I think we've all been there.

00:14:36:03 - 00:14:42:18
Kevin
And inter-dimensional portals and so go gore with her is like fucking about he's basically Rick is Rick from Rick and Morty.

00:14:42:18 - 00:14:44:05
Phil
He's totally Rick.

00:14:46:00 - 00:15:08:18
Kevin
And it's just it is in his little castle he built that's filled with traps and he's studying his portals, his inter-dimensional portals and webs. He accidentally opened one and the demon king down. Brad came through. And now and now Brad has captured Gore with her and is using Shadow Keep as his base of operations to summon a demon army to take over the world.

00:15:09:01 - 00:15:32:20
Kevin
And the spinner is also from one of these other dimensions that Gore where they're opened and the spinners like Yeah, I don't have my power here in this dimension. So I need to hold out for a hero till the end of the night's show. And that hero is shown stealth because that's who everybody has been pointing to.

00:15:33:02 - 00:15:49:22
Phil
And it's literally it. He's like been talking to people all over the place. Like, you want shown stealth, you want Storen Stark, you want you want Shane Snart, you want the guy that's the Nerf.

00:15:49:22 - 00:15:55:18
Kevin
The spinner, you know, travels all the way there. And Jones stealth is like, they're not going to do that.

00:15:56:04 - 00:16:16:08
Phil
Right? Which is what? Which is what you get when I just love that. It's kind of like it starts out as this very no frills sword sorcery quest, where it's like, I need a hero to go to his tower, defeat the demon. Got it. It's very it's very of its time. This is written in 1984. This is very of its time.

00:16:16:13 - 00:16:38:00
Phil
And it's not it's not like too multifaceted. But then you get to something like you find out that usually they're like following a prophecy or like the, like the last time this happened, we needed this great hero and the same. What? No, no. This dude literally been going from Tavern to tavern. Got, you know, a guy who kicks ass.

00:16:38:00 - 00:16:40:09
Phil
Does anybody know a guy who kicks ass.

00:16:40:12 - 00:16:51:03
Kevin
Is like I am I am an inter-dimensional being from an from another world. I can't do anything here. Can somebody point me in the direction of an ass kicker?

00:16:51:07 - 00:17:01:19
Phil
Right. That's exactly it. And for all he knows, everyone's just pulling a giant prank and sending him to, like, the local Dwight Schrute. For all they know.

00:17:01:19 - 00:17:20:06
Kevin
So he gets there. And Spinner's really disappointed. And this is this is where the very disappointed this is where the book kind of I like to turn it takes because it's like showing stealth if you're talking a hero's journey show in stealth refuses the call.

00:17:20:14 - 00:17:21:06
Phil
Totally.

00:17:21:09 - 00:17:25:00
Kevin
And refuses the call. He doesn't he's not going to he's not going to do it.

00:17:25:13 - 00:17:43:21
Phil
No. And and admittedly, he has good reason. Like he's lost interest and he's like, yeah, I used to be an ass kicker for hire. Absolutely. I have a wife and a kid now. And like they I'm not I'm not just I'm just not going to go. Anyone who goes to this place never comes back. I have to take care of these.

00:17:43:21 - 00:17:48:08
Phil
I got I got to take care of these kids, man. No one's going to wait for me, right?

00:17:48:20 - 00:18:07:19
Kevin
Exactly. And so he's he's a blacksmith now and he's happy to do it. And if the world ends and the world ends. But he's not going to he's not going to leave his family. You know, it's it's that it's that it's like deep impact. You know, with these his tale, Leon, he's sitting on the beach with his dad.

00:18:07:19 - 00:18:17:18
Kevin
Spoilers for a 30 year old lesser of the two meteor movies that came out that year. But yeah, it ends in.

00:18:17:18 - 00:18:20:19
Phil
Natural disaster movies came out in twos when we were young for.

00:18:20:19 - 00:18:26:19
Kevin
You. When we were younger, they came out in pairs every year. And wouldn't you know, the Michael Bay movie was better.

00:18:27:03 - 00:18:27:15
Phil
Than.

00:18:28:01 - 00:18:36:00
Kevin
Who did thunk it then? The really dramatic piece with all the heavy hitting actors. Right. It was way up its own ass.

00:18:36:11 - 00:18:39:13
Phil
It was. Yeah. That's yeah. Mm.

00:18:39:13 - 00:18:45:10
Kevin
They were Michael Bay had Steve Buscemi in and Bruce Willis and, and all that.

00:18:45:10 - 00:18:47:00
Phil
But then Affleck and.

00:18:47:00 - 00:18:47:14
Kevin
And Ben and.

00:18:47:15 - 00:19:01:17
Phil
Steven Tyler's daughter and yeah, that and a song that would bring the nation together for one summer, one summer for one summer. No one in America wanted to miss a thing.

00:19:02:04 - 00:19:05:15
Kevin
No, not, not not miss a goddamn thing.

00:19:05:18 - 00:19:10:19
Phil
And Aerosmith was going to make sure that they didn't have to.

00:19:10:19 - 00:19:24:02
Kevin
Their Aerosmith was going to keep that promise. And I got that also. That was like the last big year for Aerosmith. So, you know.

00:19:24:15 - 00:19:28:12
Phil
It was pretty much it. Then they came up with this fucking pink song and it was all over. It was.

00:19:28:22 - 00:19:31:02
Kevin
As pretty much a picture rap on Aerosmith.

00:19:31:05 - 00:19:33:14
Phil
Like their spirit and their me, and they love it.

00:19:33:20 - 00:19:36:11
Kevin
They've been around since then, but nobody cares.

00:19:36:14 - 00:19:38:09
Phil
No one, nor should they.

00:19:38:10 - 00:19:41:16
Kevin
Nor should they, except on the rock and roller coaster at Disney World.

00:19:41:18 - 00:19:44:05
Phil
I mean I mean. Well, that's different. That's slightly different.

00:19:44:08 - 00:19:45:09
Kevin
That's entirely different.

00:19:45:09 - 00:19:54:12
Phil
If you guys could just sit through us doing like five or six more minutes about the rock and roller coaster, they're paying us about $5,000 each for this promo.

00:19:54:17 - 00:19:59:06
Kevin
That that roller coaster is not designed for anyone over six feet tall.

00:19:59:18 - 00:20:04:07
Phil
I will say zeroing through hard.

00:20:05:00 - 00:20:19:14
Kevin
Rock and roll, a little too hard for four for this guy's knees, you know. Oh, my knees are jammed up all into the back of the seat in front of me. It was like anyway, the spinner is very sad.

00:20:20:14 - 00:20:26:17
Phil
Is it's kind of a weird like prophet kind of character, isn't it? Like he's like he's like.

00:20:27:15 - 00:20:29:00
Kevin
I came all this way.

00:20:29:07 - 00:20:52:01
Phil
That's literally it. He's like, But dude, dude, it's, it's and it's funny because they describe like, they, they set him up in these very mysterious, ethereal terms. The kids run away from him because one of them sees under his cloak and there's just a void where his face should be. And then 5 minutes later, he's like, Come on, I need you to save the world.

00:20:52:01 - 00:20:57:15
Phil
It's a very weird kind of a catalyst to our adventure here.

00:20:57:23 - 00:21:32:20
Kevin
Yeah. Yeah. So he the spinner is like, all right, fine. And he starts leaving, and then he gets tapped on the shoulder by somebody else. And earlier in the scene, shown stealth had been talking shit to his apprentice. Like, Give me a give me a flag and a veil and all that, all that stuff. His apprentice a a lucky go getter up and comer protector film.

00:21:33:11 - 00:21:36:09
Phil
What a name. That's another one. Holy shit.

00:21:36:15 - 00:21:40:21
Kevin
Protector. Time goes to the spinner and volunteer ears.

00:21:41:18 - 00:21:43:09
Phil
All lesson.

00:21:43:23 - 00:21:45:02
Kevin
And I sneeze.

00:21:46:01 - 00:21:49:13
Phil
Yeah. Wow. So it's a weird names, too.

00:21:49:20 - 00:22:13:11
Kevin
Yeah, I think it's getting to me on the dust is getting to me of these names so actors like listen spinner baby I know all the sword shit that that that show knows because he taught me a B got no family, no, you know, and C, you, you got nobody else.

00:22:13:11 - 00:22:16:06
Phil
So right here, what other choice do you have, baby?

00:22:16:14 - 00:22:27:04
Kevin
Hey, baby, babe is basically bobble. Bobble. I'm your white knight.

00:22:27:04 - 00:22:29:18
Phil
And the spinner just goes, Yeah, fuck it. Well.

00:22:30:14 - 00:22:38:03
Kevin
Fine, whatever. And the spinners. Like, I'm going to look for other people, but you go, right?

00:22:38:16 - 00:22:39:02
Phil
Right.

00:22:39:12 - 00:22:40:00
Kevin
I have news.

00:22:40:00 - 00:22:43:04
Phil
Like, yeah, I can't stop you, bro. Like, knock yourself out.

00:22:43:09 - 00:22:54:19
Kevin
I have no guarantee that I am going to be able to send people after you because nobody wants to go. But. But I'm going to look for other people. Good luck. Practice.

00:22:54:19 - 00:23:00:02
Phil
Yeah, it's such a weird exchange.

00:23:00:19 - 00:23:16:14
Kevin
I love it though. Chapter two basically involves Proctor telling shown that he's quitting and shown being like, No, you're not, and then shown locking Proctor in his bedroom.

00:23:16:14 - 00:23:24:13
Phil
Right. It's a it's a serious like you've think about what you've done, young man kind of moments.

00:23:24:13 - 00:23:46:22
Kevin
And so it's a director decides, okay, well I got to get out of here. He goes out the window, climbs down. Well, it's not a fire escape, but there's like a rain gutter thing in the side of the building that he climbs down and he's like, well, I'm out. And he he escapes and he runs to the inn where his girlfriend and rice and see.

00:23:47:08 - 00:23:51:13
Phil
That is a name. There are a lot of names, but there's a lot of other name.

00:23:51:13 - 00:23:53:18
Kevin
There's a lot of names in this.

00:23:53:18 - 00:24:12:02
Phil
A lot of names. And either way, by the way, I thought it was kind of funny the way they you know, like they introduce her as just the girl, like they say, you know, the woman. It's kind of sweet, romantic. He's like the girl he was looking for had had brown, brown hair and was, you know, was was full of life and laughter.

00:24:12:02 - 00:24:24:00
Phil
And he was smitten. And it's really nice, but they never say her name and we just find it out from him calling her by by her name. It it really did. A name like that really made me go. That's what. Okay, all right. That's what we're going to.

00:24:24:07 - 00:24:31:21
Kevin
But put rice and see. And I was like, oh, rice and see is her okay. Decency, rice and see.

00:24:31:22 - 00:24:42:18
Phil
Okay. This is this is literally like the game of just like slamming your hand down on the keyboard and like going, Oh, that looks like rice. And see, okay, that's the name.

00:24:42:23 - 00:24:48:07
Kevin
That's the name there we go. Spending as much time and the character creator as I do.

00:24:48:18 - 00:24:51:09
Phil
Right, exactly. Pretty much.

00:24:51:20 - 00:24:55:10
Kevin
Like C rice and C, default face and know.

00:24:56:00 - 00:24:58:23
Phil
Spec charisma and onward.

00:24:59:11 - 00:25:09:00
Kevin
And moving on. Yeah, rice and C is described as like she's fine, she's pretty, but not like, you know, she's fine.

00:25:09:10 - 00:25:18:23
Phil
She's she's like they may as well. She's the girl back home. She's the girl back home. She's not a she's not a stunner. But she's got a sense of humor.

00:25:19:15 - 00:25:23:12
Kevin
She's she's got a smile. Yeah. And and a job.

00:25:23:18 - 00:25:27:07
Phil
And which you know, what would be important to a guy who's about to quit is.

00:25:27:12 - 00:25:37:09
Kevin
Who's. Yeah, Proctor has literally just quit his to go on a fool's errand, to invade Chateau keep the one castle nobody ever comes back from.

00:25:37:17 - 00:25:38:03
Phil
Right.

00:25:38:08 - 00:25:39:17
Kevin
So she's going to need.

00:25:39:18 - 00:25:40:06
Phil
To work out.

00:25:40:06 - 00:25:52:04
Kevin
Yeah, this is going to this is going to work out. But basically he's like, he's promising her all these things. He's like, I'm going to go to I'm going to go on this voyage, this trip. He never tells her he's going to Chateau Keep because.

00:25:52:04 - 00:25:53:18
Phil
He says he's delivering a message.

00:25:53:18 - 00:26:04:13
Kevin
Or something. He's like, Yeah, I'm going to deliver a message to in the messages to Dal Brad and it's my foot up his ass. That's the message.

00:26:04:13 - 00:26:09:05
Phil
She's like, I don't understand a word. If that sounds good, baby sounds good.

00:26:09:20 - 00:26:18:15
Kevin
And then she basically has to go back to work because she's working at an end and the piper is like is like, what are you doing? You know, talking to the customers, get.

00:26:18:15 - 00:26:21:19
Phil
Back to work. A 15 minute break is over, sweetie. You got to go.

00:26:22:01 - 00:26:49:06
Kevin
You got to go. So he then goes to find a horse and he goes to and all the stable keepers names Mensa, who doesn't own the stables. He just works at them. And Mensa is he basically lays out his whole thing. The Mensa is like, I'm going to shadow keep J.A. Nighthorse. These are my life savings. Men's is like, This will get you a mare right?

00:26:49:06 - 00:26:50:10
Kevin
The mayor, they were there.

00:26:50:19 - 00:27:01:09
Phil
But then he pulls the all butt right next to the mayor. Is this incredibly fast stallion? No, it would be a real shame if someone stole the fuck out of it.

00:27:01:20 - 00:27:17:02
Kevin
It would be a shame if. Then the stallion. It's a really quiet stallion. I mean, I wouldn't definitely hear if the stallion just walked out of here if. And you accidentally took the stallion instead of the mayor that you paid for. Yep.

00:27:17:03 - 00:27:19:16
Phil
Anyway, nothing. I'm worried about.

00:27:19:18 - 00:27:21:00
Kevin
I'm going to bed.

00:27:21:17 - 00:27:24:09
Phil
Right. And I'm crashing.

00:27:25:06 - 00:27:33:19
Kevin
So Mensa walks away and in practice is like, Oh, man, I thought I could get the stallion. And he's like, Oh, wait a minute. He was telling me to get he's telling me to steal the stallion.

00:27:34:15 - 00:27:50:17
Phil
They give me, like, DMD terms. He takes a whole round to be like, Oh, man. And he's making me take this this super cool horse and put it in the in the place right next to the mayor. And. Hey.

00:27:51:16 - 00:27:56:00
Kevin
Wait a minute. Yeah, it's crafty, old man. Yeah.

00:27:56:12 - 00:28:02:14
Phil
Like a whole beat, Otis, like, oh, man, it was fucking. Oh.

00:28:03:00 - 00:28:14:12
Kevin
Oh. It dawns on the the waves of dawning on him, right? Like I feel like it's written this way to show that Proctor is. He's not the smartest man in the world.

00:28:14:12 - 00:28:18:10
Phil
No, no, he's our tank space. He's our tank.

00:28:18:20 - 00:28:23:10
Kevin
He is the blacksmith's apprentice. He knows how to swing a sword and has a whole lot of gumption.

00:28:24:02 - 00:28:24:07
Phil
Man.

00:28:25:00 - 00:28:29:17
Kevin
Beyond that, he's he's he's got a lot of gumption.

00:28:30:00 - 00:28:32:03
Phil
We're going to we're going to use him to pull swarms.

00:28:32:03 - 00:28:47:11
Kevin
That is so so move on to chapter three. And Proctor is is he is cutting across the roof. Sorry as drank too much baby water now it's all.

00:28:47:11 - 00:28:49:01
Phil
All at once It's all coming back to.

00:28:49:01 - 00:28:55:14
Kevin
You It's all coming back to me now. Just these little song references.

00:28:55:14 - 00:29:02:16
Phil
Just it's going to be it's going to be like it's going to be a very eighties nineties kind of book. Yeah.

00:29:02:16 - 00:29:21:20
Kevin
Yeah. You know, I was waiting for I tweeted something about how I don't know why anybody wrote songs about love after Huey Lewis and the News nailed it with the power of love. And I was waiting. I was waiting for our mutual friend Tim.

00:29:22:09 - 00:29:23:12
Phil
To say.

00:29:23:12 - 00:29:25:01
Kevin
Something about Jim Steinman.

00:29:25:14 - 00:29:54:22
Phil
Right. Oh, my God. So for those of you at home, we just celebrated my bachelor party at this point. It was a couple of weeks ago, and and it was me and Kevin and some of my other dear friends. And our buddy Tim went off on a rant, a long rant about long rants. Oh, oh. The wonders of Jim Steinman, the prolific songwriter who wrote all of Meat Loaf's best songs, but probably more.

00:29:54:23 - 00:30:03:14
Phil
He's more well known for writing a lot of Celine Dion's greatest hits as well. Yeah. Yeah. And it was beautiful. It was.

00:30:03:14 - 00:30:09:12
Kevin
Beautiful. So, Jim Steinman, you know, what about Jim Steinman? I got nothing.

00:30:09:12 - 00:30:25:04
Phil
That's I got another ace. I think he was a beautiful man. And for the record, ladies and gentlemen, how did we spend my bachelor party? We drank some wine, and we played like a really epic ttrpg session. Yeah, that's how it was meant to go.

00:30:25:04 - 00:30:28:05
Kevin
That's. That's how. That's how we do it. That's how we do it.

00:30:28:05 - 00:30:30:02
Phil
Awesome weekend.

00:30:30:02 - 00:30:31:01
Kevin
It was.

00:30:31:01 - 00:30:32:08
Phil
It was so good.

00:30:32:09 - 00:30:43:02
Kevin
So good. Chapter three Protector. Protector. Where was the character's name? Proctor was the character's name from Police Academy?

00:30:43:13 - 00:30:54:07
Phil
Actor is, yeah. I keep I keep seeing Proctor when I read it. I totally keep saying Proctor Proctor.

00:30:58:00 - 00:30:59:21
Kevin
Moriarty's references that are just.

00:31:00:16 - 00:31:03:02
Phil
Going so clearly I was meant to be.

00:31:03:10 - 00:31:09:02
Kevin
High and wide over the heads of of anybody younger than 30.

00:31:09:10 - 00:31:15:00
Phil
Listening to the show, the youthful audience. That too. So audience, video game novelization, podcasts, the.

00:31:15:00 - 00:31:16:22
Kevin
Youthful audience that tunes it. Yes.

00:31:17:18 - 00:31:18:14
Phil
To age and.

00:31:18:18 - 00:31:47:13
Kevin
To aging geeks talking about old video game stuff. So Tractor is crossing the barrens, which is the area outside of their city. Their city's name again was Sass. AUBREY Yes, sassy. Sassy Bree says sassy. Breeze, great. It has farmland. It's beautiful. And then there's this land called the Barrens, which is just like there's not much there. There's a vault, you know, tall grass and all that stuff.

00:31:47:13 - 00:32:01:22
Kevin
And he's just going and he is accosted. He's suddenly accosted by a group of roos. And what are what are roos? They are humanoid kangaroo people. And I love it.

00:32:02:04 - 00:32:32:06
Phil
I love it. Do do you do you know what I love even more? Because yeah. They're these vegetarian. Yeah, yeah, they're anthropomorphic anthropomorphic kangaroos, which is basically just a kangaroo because you can't get too much more human. They stand up and they walk on two legs like, yeah, yeah. But I, I love it because you find out we're going to find out shortly that there's another race in this world that is basically elves.

00:32:32:11 - 00:32:51:18
Phil
They're, for all intents and purposes, elves, but they kind of they I think he out and out says at one point that these are the three major races in this world. Humans kind of a weird elf society and kangaroo people. Yeah, that is fucking awesome.

00:32:52:01 - 00:32:53:11
Kevin
I'm down for it, you know.

00:32:54:07 - 00:33:00:05
Phil
I'm going to develop a supplement for this for fifth edition dandy. Yes. Oh, my God.

00:33:00:09 - 00:33:13:22
Kevin
Shadow keep needs its own. Like it needs its own dandy expansion. Let me right the F now I am in so far the worldbuilding has been on point and I need I need my ruse in everything.

00:33:13:22 - 00:33:16:14
Phil
Now I want to play through I want to play a true rogue.

00:33:16:14 - 00:33:21:03
Kevin
A true rogue. Yeah. I think that would be fitting given that what we know about the ruse.

00:33:21:10 - 00:33:22:07
Phil
Absolutely.

00:33:22:07 - 00:33:32:20
Kevin
So basically the ruse a cast him and they're like, we need a favor from you. And he's like, what? Okay, fine.

00:33:33:03 - 00:33:35:00
Phil
And he just goes with it.

00:33:35:01 - 00:33:56:22
Kevin
He just goes with it because there's like ten of them and he's not going to fight his way through them anyway. And they take they they they take him down to his encampment. And it seems like they're getting ready for some sort of party or something. And they're like, Hey, we need you to be to stand in and be our king of the festival tonight.

00:33:57:08 - 00:34:08:13
Kevin
And he's like, Excuse me, what does that entail? And the our main root character, whose name is what is his name? I have.

00:34:08:13 - 00:34:11:06
Phil
Oh, it's a it's Serrano.

00:34:11:21 - 00:34:29:08
Kevin
Yes, Serrano. I think he basically says, listen, the Jews are like the hobbits. We have you know, we basically find any excuse to have a party. Yeah, that is awesome.

00:34:29:20 - 00:34:56:11
Phil
Yeah. And one of our favorite things to do is to go out and like, kidnap someone who, like, because they're like a nomadic Romani style society. Right. And one of our favorite things to do is go out and kidnap somebody who isn't from the society and make them the king of the celebration. And and you've got to like and you're hosting us and we're hosting you, and you're the king of the celebration.

00:34:56:14 - 00:35:00:22
Kevin
And you and your only job is to say, let the festivities begin.

00:35:01:04 - 00:35:01:11
Phil
Yes.

00:35:01:11 - 00:35:09:02
Kevin
And so they basically have them sit down on like a fake throne or whatever. And he's like, let the festivities begin and everybody loses their shit.

00:35:09:09 - 00:35:14:21
Phil
You just the wild rumpus begins. Like.

00:35:15:16 - 00:35:21:15
Kevin
I got to say, I loved this little detour.

00:35:22:01 - 00:35:22:16
Phil
So much.

00:35:22:17 - 00:35:48:02
Kevin
So much for as weird as the names are in this book that the writing is tremendous and the places that he goes, Alan Dean Foster goes with the story because as I said, as I think I mentioned before, there is no real plot to the game. It's you got to go to shadow, keep and kill the thing, and that's pretty much it.

00:35:48:09 - 00:36:00:18
Kevin
And so this is all Alan Dean Foster just making stuff up. Yep, yep. And he's like, is like, all right, well, you get these these rooms and they like to party. And that's that's their whole thing.

00:36:01:17 - 00:36:11:08
Phil
It's like we've barely begun the adventure because you said it perfectly. We barely begun the adventure. And already we've got a detour. Yeah, and I'm thrilled about it, ladies.

00:36:11:13 - 00:36:19:04
Kevin
Which he is. He is barely started. And instead of continuing on the main path, he is side questing already.

00:36:19:15 - 00:36:26:06
Phil
Pretty much which. Which I think you and I can relate with. Yeah. Because you and I are side quests are extraordinary.

00:36:26:11 - 00:36:27:01
Kevin
Exactly.

00:36:27:10 - 00:36:34:23
Phil
We I barely I side quest so much that when I finally come back to the main quest line, I'm like 50 levels up of it.

00:36:35:01 - 00:36:36:11
Kevin
Yeah, I just rolled right through it.

00:36:36:13 - 00:36:42:11
Phil
Just burn through the main quest line and get back to more side quests. That's exactly what we start out with here.

00:36:42:17 - 00:37:06:20
Kevin
So he he is the king of the festivities and they just feed him. They they are just feeding him piles and piles and piles of food. And he is unable to he's like unable to keep eating and he's trying to sneak out. And surrender is like, hey, buddy, you're not supposed to leave. We're still you know, we're still partying.

00:37:06:20 - 00:37:10:09
Kevin
We'll we'll finish partying at, like, midnight. Like, just just chill.

00:37:10:09 - 00:37:14:18
Phil
Yeah, yeah, yeah. At midnight. You're good. And you can leave if you have to.

00:37:14:21 - 00:37:15:10
Kevin
If you have.

00:37:15:10 - 00:37:20:16
Phil
To, you're going to scene of him. Like hiding from someone because her food is too good.

00:37:20:16 - 00:37:22:13
Kevin
It's too good. And he can't eat any more of it.

00:37:22:14 - 00:37:49:19
Phil
You just can't do it. It's amazing. It's so much. This is just this is like this is pure legend, Willow. Like like that. Yeah. That era of of fantasy, where it's just like where they were afraid to go with some really goofy kind of races and species. You know, like nowadays everything's a variation on a dwarf and an elf, and.

00:37:50:00 - 00:37:55:22
Phil
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's room for that. But this was the time when they were like, Yeah, kangaroo people were doing it.

00:37:56:13 - 00:38:03:23
Kevin
I am surprised that he did not write the novelization but for for Willow speaking. Okay.

00:38:04:08 - 00:38:07:12
Phil
I am also I mean, he'd already worked with George Lucas, so.

00:38:07:12 - 00:38:07:23
Kevin
Yeah.

00:38:08:14 - 00:38:09:12
Phil
That would be a shoo in.

00:38:09:12 - 00:38:12:01
Kevin
Yeah. Whalen's drew is the.

00:38:12:02 - 00:38:15:15
Phil
I read that one. I remember reading that one when I was a kid. Yeah.

00:38:17:05 - 00:38:21:23
Kevin
And, hey, Willow is getting more, and Willow's being turned into a series.

00:38:22:22 - 00:38:30:02
Phil
I am coming up. I'm. I'm excited about that. I'm going to I'm going to keep my my excitement in check as well, keep the expectations low.

00:38:30:02 - 00:38:34:22
Kevin
But, yeah. Hey, what's this face get is is back is Willow so.

00:38:34:22 - 00:38:51:04
Phil
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were talking about it on on YouTube so monsters and they they mentioned like how he just seems like what's his name that actor is fantastic. It just seems like a really nice guy who's like super grateful for the, the roles he's had.

00:38:51:12 - 00:38:52:18
Kevin
Warwick Davis.

00:38:52:18 - 00:39:08:03
Phil
Warwick Davis apparently met his wife on the set of Willow. Huh. Okay. Like, it's like they but it's like. But it was weird. Like, they met and they were friends for a while, and then they got married later down the line. It's just fucking cool, man. It's cute. I love Willow.

00:39:08:17 - 00:39:29:21
Kevin
Wilson. So more Warwick Davis coming along. But hell, yes, Warwick Davis is not in this. No. So basically Stranraer is like, listen, you know what? I think also I want to come with you and and Proctor is like, sure.

00:39:30:12 - 00:39:40:20
Phil
Yeah. It's like I literally cannot stop you. But he does say it's kind of sweet. He's like, I it is kind of nice for you to come with me because I didn't realize how lonely this was. Yeah.

00:39:40:21 - 00:40:00:20
Kevin
This is probably going to be very lonely, and I'm going to need some people to with me and. Right. So surrender is like and traveling companions should be complimentary anyway because surrender can move really fast and jump really high. But because of the shape of his, he can't like crawl on his belly like a human can.

00:40:00:20 - 00:40:06:07
Phil
Like basically describes, you know, the key to good party balance in the end. Yeah, he's.

00:40:06:07 - 00:40:10:22
Kevin
Like he's like, if you're wondering how to balance your party, here's a tutorial, right?

00:40:11:08 - 00:40:21:12
Phil
This is a rope. It can't be eager. He can't take a lot of hits, but he can get in some wonderful, critical damage. Meanwhile, this tank over here will take the damage for him just exactly.

00:40:22:08 - 00:40:32:16
Kevin
So the next morning they get up, they a a tremendous breakfast almost to the point of throwing up again.

00:40:32:23 - 00:40:33:23
Phil
And, of course.

00:40:34:10 - 00:40:53:11
Kevin
They set off on their way and surrender is like, listen, we got I'm thinking more about Shadow Keep and you know, we're going to need some a little extra help. We're going to need somebody who can who can I the way he said it made me think it was like see into the future. But it's not seeing into the future.

00:40:53:11 - 00:41:17:12
Kevin
It's basically just they need somebody who's really, really smart and can into it, like what's going to what's going to happen next. And it's not it's not like it's not like a mystic who is seeing into the future. And that's where they they he comes up with the idea and this is where in we're still in chapter three.

00:41:17:17 - 00:41:46:10
Kevin
That's when they come up. The idea to travel to the city of SoCal here, which is the home of the phthalate, our people and they talk there's a little aside. Proctor is thinking about how the phthalate ours are the descendants of elves. Yes. A long time ago there were elves. And eventually through generations, there's the elders who are related to elves, but they're not.

00:41:46:10 - 00:41:52:18
Kevin
They aren't literally the elves. Right. They have the pointy ears and all that and they live fucking forever.

00:41:53:17 - 00:41:58:01
Phil
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what's funny is they are effectively elves.

00:41:58:19 - 00:42:02:10
Kevin
Elves, but they're not the elves of this worlds that.

00:42:02:10 - 00:42:24:15
Phil
They live forever. They're kind of wispy. Yeah. The big thing that they push and I love this is another detail. This is another bit of worldbuilding that I loved. Like they are polite to a fault. Yeah. Like a kid is, you know, like at one point, one of the one of them says you are being very like this.

00:42:25:00 - 00:42:25:22
Kevin
Disagreeable.

00:42:26:05 - 00:42:32:18
Phil
Disagreeable. Yeah. Yeah. And everyone's like, you know, just it's the cold of the sea or something like this.

00:42:32:20 - 00:42:35:11
Kevin
Saint fainting couches are brought out. It's, you.

00:42:35:11 - 00:42:37:17
Phil
Know, it's wonderful.

00:42:37:17 - 00:43:00:00
Kevin
It's it's an amazing moment. So basically, Proctor and Serrano and Saran is as a Roux is very like he is an extrovert. Extrovert. He is like, let's let's fuck and go, man. And that's another thing. And Serrano keeps referring to Proctor. He has like that. He ends his sentences with man when he calls practice.

00:43:00:01 - 00:43:00:06
Phil
Yeah.

00:43:00:08 - 00:43:14:20
Kevin
Which is I feel like he's saying that as like he's just saying that to kind of say Proctor is a human like man, like you are a man. But in my head, the way shrapnel is also written, he really gives me dude vibes.

00:43:14:20 - 00:43:18:15
Phil
Absolutely. Absolutely.

00:43:18:15 - 00:43:20:05
Kevin
Well, that's just your opinion, man.

00:43:20:15 - 00:43:40:19
Phil
Yeah, that's totally straddles vibe. And so him calling him man all the time. And I didn't even think I just honestly thought it was part of the slang until I noticed that one of the fan adore people started calling him Man as well. I was like, Oh, they mean like human, moral, whatever. They're like, Yeah, oh, I love that.

00:43:40:19 - 00:43:54:15
Phil
I was getting like some Frank Miller vibes, like the way he would write in The Dark Knight Rises, like he wrote the street punks and their weird slang and everything. It was that kind of thing it was just, oh yeah, yeah. I love it.

00:43:55:20 - 00:44:09:08
Kevin
Yeah. So they get to do Collier and because Randall is like that, Serrano is like Serrano is the one who convinced Proctor to go there, but then they get there and everybody is just ignoring them.

00:44:09:16 - 00:44:09:21
Phil
Like.

00:44:09:23 - 00:44:20:13
Kevin
Like not even talking to them, just carrying about with their business. And Serrano's like, like, okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pick a fucking fight with whatever.

00:44:20:16 - 00:44:31:13
Phil
That's exactly it. He's so sick of it. He's so sick of it. It was his idea and he's immediately annoyed. Think like I'm going to fight one of these fucking elves.

00:44:31:13 - 00:44:32:21
Kevin
I'm going to punch one of these cells.

00:44:33:02 - 00:44:34:18
Phil
In the face. Yeah.

00:44:36:09 - 00:44:45:23
Kevin
And then they get interrupted by a, a female phthalate. Ah. Who is stunningly beautiful.

00:44:46:01 - 00:44:46:19
Phil
Beautiful.

00:44:47:02 - 00:45:02:13
Kevin
Beautiful. Just basically stops them in their tracks with her beauty. And we meet her officially in chapter four. Her name is Marigolds and she's basically like, you guys are causing a scene and need to follow me.

00:45:02:13 - 00:45:06:04
Phil
Yeah, she's like, they're like, you guys, you're going to get shot.

00:45:06:05 - 00:45:12:10
Kevin
There's like, you're they're just ignoring us. We're like, they're not ignoring you. They're just not engaging with you. There's a difference.

00:45:13:00 - 00:45:25:11
Phil
Yeah. Yeah. She's like the one cool headed person on Twitter. Yeah. That's like, I'm not engaging with trolls. I'm sorry. That's Just not what they do. So I'm going to slip into your DMS and tell you to get the fuck out. Yes, but.

00:45:26:11 - 00:45:36:10
Kevin
Meryl is like, All right, come on, guys, follow me. And she takes her to. Takes them to her. You know, her. Her crummy apartment. No, sorry. I mean, her fucking mansion.

00:45:36:16 - 00:45:40:04
Phil
Her goddamn palace. Yeah.

00:45:40:04 - 00:45:46:15
Kevin
And and Proctor and RU are like, okay, who are you? Are you royalty? And she's like, Nah.

00:45:47:13 - 00:45:57:12
Phil
No, we're just we're just they're sages her. She comes from a family of sages, which literally their job is advice. That is their whole job.

00:45:57:12 - 00:45:59:06
Kevin
It's just giving advice.

00:45:59:06 - 00:46:01:01
Phil
Yeah. And there may be very well.

00:46:01:01 - 00:46:29:13
Kevin
For and people give them a lot of money for their advice because they're very good at giving advice and basically Meryl takes them in and they meet Meryl's grandmother. And Meryl's grandmother basically gives us a real outside of the spin hour, gives us our first real expedition. It's exposition dump of the story where she's like, Oh yes, no, the phthalate.

00:46:29:13 - 00:47:13:06
Kevin
Our people are kind of aware of what's going down at Shadow keep like we're we under we know something's going down and she has been trying to convince the SoCal city council to like hey need a party there to go investigate shadow keep and the phthalate our are like now if we stay in our city will be fine like they think they think so kalia is basically impregnable like they're not going to they're not going to have any issues with with Brad or whatever if, if they if Dale Brad breaks out of shadow, keep in starts expanding his reach.

00:47:13:12 - 00:47:32:00
Kevin
So they she gives us this like full rundown of of what's going on in Maryland is like like I can't give you advice on Shadow Keep because we haven't been there and we don't give advice on things we don't know. She's like somebody, which is.

00:47:32:13 - 00:47:38:04
Phil
Wow, I wish more people were like, Oh, these people are my fucking heroes.

00:47:38:08 - 00:48:11:19
Kevin
Wow. They don't give advice and opinions on things that which they don't know. I feel like there is a there is a I just learned a Latin phrase for that. Hold on. For not knowing. I swear. I just saw it today too. I feel like it was on Twitter. But basically there's a Latin phrase where it's like it's it's the philosophy of basically not speaking, giving advice or opinion on things that you don't know.

00:48:12:00 - 00:48:16:04
Kevin
And then I read this today. I was like, Holy shit, it's like the same concept.

00:48:16:11 - 00:48:31:14
Phil
It's exactly it. It, it's just like, well, this is some kind of this is, this is the we we live in a world here that has talking kangaroos. And this is the least realistic thing in the entire book so far.

00:48:32:10 - 00:48:43:12
Kevin
So the the grandmother was like, well, I can't go, but Marilyn can go because she's young and she's hot and she can handle herself.

00:48:43:12 - 00:48:46:03
Phil
By the way, being the most normal name we've seen so far.

00:48:46:04 - 00:49:04:22
Kevin
Most normal name we've seen so far. Yeah. So Proctor is like, vaguely sexist about it. Is like, Oh, well, I thought we could get a man or blah, blah, blah. And then and Marilyn's like, Meryl doesn't take the bait. She's she just like, you know, she intellectually judo him into being embarrassed.

00:49:06:00 - 00:49:24:23
Phil
She kind of does that thing that I've seen people like say that you ought to do, but I've never seen it in person, where if someone tells like a racist joke, you feign ignorance and force them to explain it, explain it. She kind of does that. She's like, Oh, it's interesting that you don't think I should do it because I'm a woman.

00:49:24:23 - 00:49:32:17
Phil
Why is that? Like, she basically does that. It's it's pretty impressive. Yeah.

00:49:32:17 - 00:49:36:01
Kevin
Yeah, I was I was like, all right. I'm a fan of married.

00:49:36:15 - 00:49:38:10
Phil
Big time lover.

00:49:39:00 - 00:49:54:15
Kevin
So so they they break down, they go into to mission breakdown mode. So the grandmother and then Marilyn's mother, who I didn't write her name down, I feel like it was Pharrell's.

00:49:54:15 - 00:50:09:02
Phil
It was something like that. It was, hold on. I'm going to find it. It was yeah, they get the grandmother. And then at the last minute, they, they were like, oh, we should do we should do that. Do the whole family here for a second. And it is something like Pharrell.

00:50:09:05 - 00:50:11:08
Kevin
It's like Pharrell's married.

00:50:11:15 - 00:50:12:20
Phil
It's literally Pharrell.

00:50:12:20 - 00:50:41:16
Kevin
It's Pharrell, okay? Married Pharrell. And the grandmother basically is like, here's everything we know about shadow keep. From what we've heard. And then they kind of dropped the bomb that like a prankster is like, well, where are the menfolk? Where are your you know, I see three generations of women but and the grandmother is like yeah they went to shadow keep and died so.

00:50:42:22 - 00:50:49:06
Phil
They didn't even go. And she points out she's like they didn't even go there to like fight. They they went there to get information.

00:50:49:06 - 00:50:51:06
Kevin
They just went there to investigate and they die.

00:50:51:06 - 00:50:55:20
Phil
Yeah. And they're they're dead.

00:50:55:20 - 00:50:59:00
Kevin
So. And Proctor's like, Ooh, yeah.

00:50:59:09 - 00:51:06:05
Phil
Cool. Because I was planning on fighting the demon with my feisty fists. I'm starting to think that might not work out.

00:51:06:09 - 00:51:07:13
Kevin
So they go to bed?

00:51:08:07 - 00:51:09:21
Phil
Yeah. Yeah. So they crash.

00:51:10:01 - 00:51:37:08
Kevin
They crash. It's like that's that's the end of that. They, the next day, they try to leave so. Kaluuya which every time I see so Kalia I think I see a in my head I see Scalia I seen former the late Scalia. Yeah, the late chief justice of the Supreme Court. Antonin Scalia. That piece of shit that yeah.

00:51:37:09 - 00:51:38:17
Phil
That garbage human being.

00:51:38:17 - 00:51:44:23
Kevin
He was a garbage piece of shit. You is an amazing writer, but fuck him.

00:51:44:23 - 00:51:45:08
Phil
Oh yeah.

00:51:45:15 - 00:51:52:04
Kevin
He had he had he had probably was some of the more entertaining opinions ever written on the Supreme Court. But he was a piece of shit.

00:51:52:10 - 00:51:54:10
Phil
He's shit.

00:51:54:10 - 00:52:00:14
Kevin
Anyway. Antonin Scalia They tried to leave. Antonin Scalia The next day.

00:52:02:17 - 00:52:03:23
Phil
And we all wish we could.

00:52:04:05 - 00:52:16:14
Kevin
We all wish we could. But RBG stops them. Uh, God, Supreme Court, huh? Fuck them, right?

00:52:16:17 - 00:52:18:12
Phil
Fuck em. You know, whatever.

00:52:18:12 - 00:52:19:12
Kevin
You know.

00:52:19:12 - 00:52:28:06
Phil
I said, Gosh, Kevin, I sure do hope that this is somebody's first episode and they get really upset over our childish, liberal ranting.

00:52:28:10 - 00:52:29:01
Kevin
Fuck.

00:52:29:01 - 00:52:29:10
Phil
Hardy.

00:52:29:10 - 00:52:49:22
Kevin
Hahaha somebody was saying that like we don't. We get a little too hung up on the institution like that. An institution continues to exist. Like nobody is happy with the Supreme Court. Nobody likes it, nobody. It's got like a it's.

00:52:49:22 - 00:52:56:17
Phil
Like 20 it had a 25% approval rating before the decision. Yeah. Like and yeah.

00:52:57:12 - 00:53:04:17
Kevin
It was like why do we keep it? Why not? What? Why can't we just, like, say you're got you're we're ignoring you. Moving on.

00:53:05:08 - 00:53:15:00
Phil
You got to move on, maybe find a new plan because no one wants to do the work. No one wants to do the work. No one wants to actually go in and change the goddamn oil.

00:53:15:07 - 00:53:25:19
Kevin
But you know who does want to do the work? And that is that's that's Nancy Pelosi. And and sending out that email asking for more money.

00:53:25:19 - 00:53:29:18
Phil
Oh, man. When she read that poem, knew everything was going to be okay.

00:53:29:19 - 00:53:35:02
Kevin
Everything was going to be okay anyway. They try to leave. So Kalia and.

00:53:39:20 - 00:53:51:05
Phil
You thought you're going to escape will you, before you get a single episode without a leftist rant. Fuck you, you naive simpleton fuck you. Yeah.

00:53:52:16 - 00:54:00:06
Kevin
That's for you. The guy who rated us one star. I doubt he is still listening.

00:54:00:06 - 00:54:07:07
Phil
I hope you're still a fan.

00:54:07:07 - 00:54:09:17
Kevin
Oh, so they try to leave Somalia?

00:54:10:09 - 00:54:12:20
Phil
Absolutely. Yeah, they got out. Yeah, they're going. They're on the way out.

00:54:12:23 - 00:54:29:09
Kevin
They're on their way out in the salad. Our guards are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, she can't go with you. She's staying here. And this is where morale drops. The the. What's it disagreeable? The D-word.

00:54:29:09 - 00:54:33:08
Phil
No, no, no. It's the D-word, but it's discourteous.

00:54:33:08 - 00:54:43:22
Kevin
Discourteous? Yes. You are being so discourteous and different people. Everyone gasps at her, calling the guard discourteous.

00:54:43:22 - 00:55:05:10
Phil
I fucking love this book. So what I want, I want to play one of these here. I want to make a character based on this, based on like a high elven society where, like, they'd rather have, like, bamboo shift, you know, like slit up their fingernails then then to be anything less than highly polite. It sounds like so much fun.

00:55:06:06 - 00:55:08:04
Phil
What a fun character that would be.

00:55:08:05 - 00:55:43:10
Kevin
Oh, God. So. So basically, Proctor and Saran all have to leave Maril behind. They won't let her go. So they. They leave, and they're like, well, I guess we tried and we're, you know, it was a long shot anyway and but we gave it our best shot. And later that night, they make an encampment and they're sitting there by the fire and they're they're just sitting there talking shit about the valid our people and, and saran all is like, yeah, she is pretty good for a valid Aryan person.

00:55:43:18 - 00:55:49:10
Kevin
And from out of nowhere, Merrill appears and says you're pretty good for a rude to.

00:55:51:10 - 00:55:52:18
Phil
And it was like oh.

00:55:54:10 - 00:56:17:19
Kevin
And emerald is like basically he's like, yeah we just, you know, I snuck out at night after my mom and grandma gave the the council of elders a what for about spying on us and, and all that stuff. And then I just vanished into the night and they're like, Oh, and meanwhile Proctor's having all these impure thoughts.

00:56:18:01 - 00:56:30:09
Phil
Oh, big time. He's like, He. How quickly has he forgotten about the plane girl with the great laughs back home? EG He is he is hot to trot for this girl.

00:56:30:11 - 00:56:32:12
Kevin
He is. He has forgotten about egg.

00:56:32:16 - 00:56:35:23
Phil
And they got her her.

00:56:38:00 - 00:56:39:00
Kevin
Rice and c.

00:56:39:18 - 00:56:54:12
Phil
Rice and see, which actually sounds like a vitamin deficiency. Yeah, we're sorry. Do you have rice and C, but if you eat, you know, an orange in the morning, you should be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:55:15 - 00:56:57:19
Kevin
I need an orange for my rice and see for.

00:56:57:19 - 00:57:04:11
Phil
Me rice and see the girl back home. Rice and NC may cause liver damage.

00:57:06:04 - 00:57:12:19
Kevin
Yeah, but anyway, he's like, proctor is like, how I God, she is hot basically.

00:57:13:08 - 00:57:35:01
Phil
God, it's over and over. Like since he's met her, there's been like one a page where he's like, I'm having beer fights again. It's that's and she knows it. She fucking knows it. Like she's, she's winking and flirting at him and all that's oh she's and so much because she's probably like 80 years old, by the way.

00:57:35:01 - 00:57:37:07
Kevin
Oh, yeah. She is so much older than him.

00:57:37:11 - 00:57:38:02
Phil
She looks.

00:57:38:07 - 00:57:47:23
Kevin
She looks his age. She looks like because Proctor is like 20, she and she looks the same age as him but she's like four times six, right?

00:57:48:00 - 00:58:10:00
Phil
Like when you're a grown ass adult and your buddies like kid is like you can tell he has like a crush on your on your wife or something like that. And you're like, Oh, that's cute. Like, that's clearly what she's like treating him as. And yeah, you better get a, get your ass home to, to Janice, see who, who can, who will not rock your world the way my 80 year old self will.

00:58:10:06 - 00:58:10:13
Phil
Yeah.

00:58:11:20 - 00:58:30:05
Kevin
She's live. Yeah. And the most gorgeous woman that, that, that Proctor or Serrano has ever seen basically. But no, she's no, she's no scurvy. No, scurvy is stability.

00:58:30:08 - 00:58:39:01
Phil
Scurvy. Scurvy. Well, scurvy can cook. Yeah, scurvy can do it. We can cook. She's she's she's stable.

00:58:39:04 - 00:58:39:23
Kevin
She's there.

00:58:40:17 - 00:58:58:19
Phil
Yeah, she's she's steady. She will not wake you up at three in the morning with a gun to your head and your cell phone in your face going, Who is this bitch? You text video and it's your mom. Yeah, but you know, you know, six out of ten in bed.

00:58:58:19 - 00:59:00:19
Kevin
So whatever was very specific.

00:59:00:19 - 00:59:10:19
Phil
So I just I just I just I'm really I'm really afraid right now.

00:59:10:19 - 00:59:36:15
Kevin
Oh, so they they wake up the next morning and they get their travel on, and they do. And Serrano is like, Hold on, we get some more shit to deal with coming up. And they're like, We don't hear anything. And they continue on through the forest and surrender. Like, just, you know, keep your wits about you. And they, they pick up over little cliffs that they get to.

00:59:36:22 - 00:59:44:03
Kevin
And wouldn't you know it in the path they have to continue on. There's goblins fighting. Yep. Like goblins do just.

00:59:44:12 - 00:59:46:07
Phil
Like that is what they're known for it.

00:59:46:09 - 01:00:02:10
Kevin
Just gobbling up. And you know, and I just imagine that these are like the goblins from True Tales of Magic that just like they that like when you when you kill them, they just, like, explode into, like into like piss and and shit.

01:00:02:10 - 01:00:08:15
Phil
I want that to be the case. Yeah I want that. And by the way, why hasn't that campaign supplement been written?

01:00:08:18 - 01:00:10:22
Kevin
Yeah, I need a root tail's complaint campaign.

01:00:11:02 - 01:00:15:05
Phil
If you guys make, I will run that game. I'll run the shit out of that game.

01:00:15:14 - 01:00:20:13
Kevin
So. And that's how the chapter ends. They're like, basically they see the goblins office system.

01:00:20:20 - 01:00:22:13
Phil
And we're going to dun dun dun.

01:00:22:15 - 01:00:29:03
Kevin
Dun dun dun dun. And yeah, that'll do it for the the book. So far.

01:00:29:08 - 01:00:30:01
Phil
So far.

01:00:30:18 - 01:00:31:09
Kevin
How are you feeling.

01:00:32:02 - 01:01:00:02
Phil
I love this book. So fucking much like this is this is like this is legend, this is crawl. This is like every. And he wrote the goddamn adaptation to crawl. And it's like this is it's like you've got your motley crew of different raced characters. You've got your fighter, you've got your Ranger Rogue kind of character, and you've got a mage of some sort.

01:01:00:02 - 01:01:18:17
Phil
But she's not even really a maid. She's just smart. So we're not even getting into magic just yet if that even exists in this world. Right. But it's like we are just gathering our party and going on an adventure. It's simple, it is straightforward. And I just having so much fun with it so far. Yeah. What about.

01:01:18:17 - 01:01:39:03
Kevin
You? I love it so far. It's really fun. I mean, the characters are the characters have so much life to them. Yes, you can. You can really. Each of them is distinct in their own way. Proctor is basically this naive, but he's got a lot of piss and vinegar.

01:01:39:15 - 01:01:39:23
Phil
Yeah.

01:01:41:03 - 01:01:53:21
Kevin
Young, dumb and full of cum prankster. Basically, he's ready to go kill some demons. And then you got Serrano, who is just a party dude. You know. He's. He's he's.

01:01:53:21 - 01:01:54:20
Phil
The Michelangelo I.

01:01:54:20 - 01:02:04:14
Kevin
Was about to say. He's the Michelangelo. Oh, I do. You got Meryl. Who is, I guess the Donatello of.

01:02:04:14 - 01:02:06:07
Phil
Very much, yeah. I'd say the club with.

01:02:06:07 - 01:02:12:02
Kevin
More sex appeal. Yeah, she's like Donatello plus Raphael, because, you know Rafael.

01:02:12:06 - 01:02:13:04
Phil
There you go.

01:02:14:17 - 01:02:15:10
Kevin
So it's kind of the.

01:02:15:10 - 01:02:15:23
Phil
Old God, because.

01:02:15:23 - 01:02:25:12
Kevin
There's only three. There's only three of them. So you get to merge. Rafael and Donatello and and protectors. Leonardo, but with less leadership skills and.

01:02:25:12 - 01:02:26:06
Phil
Exactly.

01:02:26:08 - 01:02:27:00
Kevin
Less of.

01:02:27:12 - 01:02:28:03
Phil
A wholesome and.

01:02:28:09 - 01:02:34:03
Kevin
Kind of wholesome but, you know, just less talented in most metrics compared to Leonardo.

01:02:34:19 - 01:02:36:06
Phil
Yeah, pretty much.

01:02:36:06 - 01:02:39:07
Kevin
And that's a party that I think that's that's our party so far.

01:02:39:07 - 01:02:40:08
Phil
I think that might be it.

01:02:40:08 - 01:02:42:00
Kevin
I don't know if they're going to get any more.

01:02:42:18 - 01:02:45:23
Phil
In the game. You get like ten party members, don't you?

01:02:45:23 - 01:02:48:02
Kevin
You get I think you get a lot more. Yeah.

01:02:48:11 - 01:02:51:02
Phil
Yeah. But I don't think we're I think we're I think we're good.

01:02:51:11 - 01:02:52:22
Kevin
Yeah, we're good. Three's a nice number.

01:02:53:06 - 01:03:04:14
Phil
Yeah, it's a strong nice round number know. And our next chapter is clearly leading to some combat or a confrontation of some sort. So I think I think we're good on PCs at this point.

01:03:04:17 - 01:03:05:17
Kevin
Yeah, yeah.

01:03:06:14 - 01:03:07:20
Phil
I love it.

01:03:07:20 - 01:03:18:14
Kevin
I love it, too. So we're going to keep reading through Shadow Keep now for our new favorite segment. What do you play in Hell?

01:03:18:14 - 01:03:18:23
Phil
Yes.

01:03:20:01 - 01:03:20:21
Kevin
So what are you playing, Phil?

01:03:21:13 - 01:03:27:04
Phil
Ah, I am about I'm just about wrapped up with Dead Space three right now.

01:03:27:04 - 01:03:28:01
Kevin
Oh, nice.

01:03:28:11 - 01:03:55:03
Phil
I yeah. When we started reading the Dead Space novel last year, that was a blind spot for me with horror games and I'm a big nerd for horror. So as I mentioned, I think on the show I played for one and two. Yep. And then I kind of put off three and you know, you hear that? I'd heard that three is just a real piece of shit compared to one and two and everything like that.

01:03:55:03 - 01:04:01:09
Phil
And yeah, and I got to say, it's not great. Yeah, but not bad.

01:04:01:14 - 01:04:09:01
Kevin
It's, it's like, yeah, it's not great. It's, it pales especially when you compare it. Two. Yes.

01:04:09:01 - 01:04:11:04
Phil
Two is the MVP as you.

01:04:11:10 - 01:04:16:16
Kevin
When you basically look at it in a vacuum, it's fine.

01:04:17:00 - 01:04:30:07
Phil
It's yeah, it's good. No, I and part of it I think is, is when you compare it's microtransaction bullshit and it is bullshit to which disease or how it is. Yeah.

01:04:30:07 - 01:04:37:19
Kevin
You can't even do microtransactions anymore because that the the like that's the problem is like the game was built around these microtransactions.

01:04:37:19 - 01:04:38:03
Phil
Yeah.

01:04:38:08 - 01:04:41:15
Kevin
And the, I don't even think the servers work for those.

01:04:41:16 - 01:04:53:08
Phil
Anymore but the thing for me is that in dead space, I was never I kind of stuck to like the shotgun, the weapon and the and just the regular, what do you call it?

01:04:54:10 - 01:04:58:06
Kevin
Oh, the yeah, I know what you mean.

01:04:58:06 - 01:05:24:15
Phil
The I stuck to those is a shotgun to take care of the little scatter monsters and and otherwise I was perfectly good with the the original gun. Yeah and I think, I think the thing that is annoying the fuck out of me in the third one is the plot line of basically people willing to have their entire team and mission die horrifically because you're jealous of your girlfriend's ex.

01:05:24:15 - 01:05:49:19
Phil
Yep. I think that's almost as fucking stupid as treating a character whose plotline was largely wrapped up in a previous franchise and acting like her. She's still crazy and murdering a bunch of people and callous and cruel ways, even though her plotline was wrapped up nicely. Just because you wanted to make your own version of The Dark God damn Phenix.

01:05:50:00 - 01:06:10:08
Phil
Sorry, I may have watched the new Doctor Strange movie and I was less impressed. Yeah, I'm. I'm also playing the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game. Oh, great. So that you that you purchased for me for for my bachelor party, right?

01:06:10:09 - 01:06:10:20
Kevin
Yeah.

01:06:11:00 - 01:06:34:18
Phil
But is it's great. Yeah, it's good. It's so much fun. It's like this great kind of amalgamation of, you know, turtles and time and the turtles, the arcade game with a lot of its own stuff. Yeah. And Will, it's really heavily based in the cartoon and it's really goofy and funny and it feels it's a blast to play.

01:06:35:06 - 01:06:59:00
Phil
And you can do it. Really simple button mashing style if you want, but you can. But they've also put it in like dodges and you know, not parries or anything like that, but it's, it's more complex if you want it to be. But you absolutely don't need to. If you want, if you want to just get in there and, you know, shove a quarter in your in your desktop and yeah, you know, yeah, beat some footsoldiers asses and it's a great option.

01:06:59:00 - 01:07:06:04
Kevin
So that's awesome. And you get you can yeah I saw you can play as either Casey Jones or April O'Neil as well.

01:07:06:06 - 01:07:24:03
Phil
Yes. You've got Splinter and April O'Neil and eventually you can unlock Casey Jones. That's good. It's fun. It's it's really it's just it's a terrific, like, spiritual successor. It feels good to play. It doesn't it's not up its own ass. It's great. It's great. What about you? What are your plans?

01:07:24:03 - 01:07:39:12
Kevin
You know what's funny, by the way, is is Casey Jones, I assume, is a I. I didn't put it together until recently that Casey Jones was a knockoff of the DC Comics villain. Sports Master, I believe.

01:07:39:12 - 01:07:45:18
Phil
Was the I knew about the Ronin stuff and the and the Daredevil stuff. I didn't know about Sports Master, but good guess.

01:07:45:20 - 01:07:49:10
Kevin
Google Sports Master Just like just take just take them to.

01:07:49:10 - 01:07:50:11
Phil
DC Villain is.

01:07:50:11 - 01:07:51:14
Kevin
A DC villain. Yeah.

01:07:52:06 - 01:08:24:03
Phil
Real sports master Lance Crusher Krok. What a name. Jesus. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. That's totally. It's hockey mask and everything. Yeah. Wow. Like, I know that when they made Ninja Turtles, they were making fun of the daredevil that was going on at the time. Like, instead of the hand, it's the foot ride, but I never notice this. Oh, that's funny.

01:08:24:03 - 01:08:32:10
Phil
Oh, he's been around for a long time too. Holy shit. Yeah. First appearance, all American comics, number 85 in 1947. Holy cow.

01:08:32:18 - 01:08:44:06
Kevin
Yep. Yeah. So, Sports Master, I believe, is the inspiration for Casey Jones. I'm not. I'm not. I could be wrong, but, you know, like, the visuals, like dead on.

01:08:45:04 - 01:08:55:03
Phil
Oh, I mean, it's. Yeah, it's like gone a little more futuristic at times with him, but that's pretty much it. Yeah.

01:08:55:15 - 01:09:07:13
Kevin
Yeah. Um, so. Okay, what have I been playing? I'm trying to remember what I talked to you about last time. They had to tell you about neon white.

01:09:08:18 - 01:09:14:00
Phil
No, but I saw that you posted a review of it on our steam group. Yeah. So it's steam group?

01:09:14:03 - 01:09:24:05
Kevin
Yeah. We have a steam curator page now and a steam group. So you can follow our curation and join our steam group. But yeah, I'm.

01:09:24:05 - 01:09:25:03
Phil
Not familiar with this.

01:09:25:03 - 01:10:00:02
Kevin
Game. So Neon White is a first person speed running game. If you know of mirrors edge, it has gameplay similar to Mirror's Edge, but the point is to try to get through these levels as fast as possible. Okay, so it's I called it I called it in async harness racing game basically your you have these you can beat the level in a certain time and you get a certain rank and your compare it against all your friends and all that stuff.

01:10:00:21 - 01:10:15:16
Kevin
So it's like you're racing each other, but you're never playing at the same time. Right? But it's, it's a first person platforming speed running game and it's, it's really cool. Story is terrible. Dialog is terrible. Like just you can mostly skip it.

01:10:16:16 - 01:10:18:01
Phil
That's not what you're here for.

01:10:18:01 - 01:10:44:00
Kevin
That's not what you're here for. Yeah. So Neon White gave it a thumbs up, even though I would legitimately say just ignore most of what is happening in the plots just so you can skip through and get back to playing the sweet, sweet platforming. Goodness. So I've beat neon white and then this week I beat the quarry.

01:10:45:05 - 01:10:49:19
Phil
Oh, how do you like that? That looked great. That looks like fun. I loved.

01:10:49:19 - 01:10:57:15
Kevin
The quarry. It is the spiritual successor, super massive spiritual successor to until dawn and.

01:10:57:18 - 01:10:58:17
Phil
Loved until dawn.

01:10:58:17 - 01:11:23:10
Kevin
And it's not like SuperMassive hasn't been doing things in between until dawn and and the quarry they've been putting out. It feels like every year they've been putting out a game in their little horror anthology, Logy Dark Pictures anthology. Yeah. Like Man of Medan Management. And the most recent one was House of Ashes House of Ashes was was really good.

01:11:23:10 - 01:11:49:20
Kevin
That was a really solid game. I love the quarry, though. It is set in a summer camp. It's present day and it's in upstate New York. And basically there are werewolves out there and it's bad news, man. And you got to try to you got to try to save all the kids. And I play through the game completely once.

01:11:49:20 - 01:11:52:22
Kevin
So far. And I just started a second playthrough the other day.

01:11:53:23 - 01:11:56:11
Phil
I went right back into it.

01:11:57:08 - 01:12:00:15
Kevin
It took a couple of days, then I went back into it. Wow.

01:12:01:00 - 01:12:01:09
Phil
Okay.

01:12:02:03 - 01:12:10:17
Kevin
And I'm trying and like different options because I killed three kids. God got I lost three kids.

01:12:11:03 - 01:12:11:15
Phil
Out of.

01:12:12:02 - 01:12:44:12
Kevin
Out of the. So it actually tallies also the NPC that you can keep alive as well. Okay so there's and I also so yeah, I lost three of the counselors and uh, out of seven so I think there was only four left that's passing. That's passing or nine actually nine total. So there's, so there's I think six of the counselors left and then what happens.

01:12:44:14 - 01:12:54:07
Kevin
Uh oh, there is like five NPC characters that you can keep alive and but they all died.

01:12:55:08 - 01:13:01:01
Phil
Oh, shit. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's maybe not that great then.

01:13:01:01 - 01:13:06:05
Kevin
I'm not a great rating on that one, so I'm trying it again, making some different decisions.

01:13:06:20 - 01:13:08:15
Phil
How long did it take you to run through? The first time?

01:13:08:15 - 01:13:29:21
Kevin
It's like 10 hours. Okay. And probably even shorter than that. I think some of that is like me, like leaving the prison for a couple of hours or an hour or two. The only problem with it I have so far is that it doesn't allow you to kind of like fast forward through some of the dialog and just like, like I just need to get to the choice because I know I'm making the opposite choice this time.

01:13:29:21 - 01:13:45:02
Kevin
I don't need to hear all the dialog again. Right, right. But other than that, yeah, I really like the quarry. It was it's a good time and I'm on my second playthrough right now and trying to get all the clues and all the collectibles and and stuff like that.

01:13:45:05 - 01:13:52:13
Phil
So going that quickly into a second playthrough to me is always one of the best like recommendations I think a game.

01:13:52:13 - 01:14:19:03
Kevin
Yeah, I was like I was like I got to do I do have one of the rarest achievements for the game though a paradise. I don't know how I got it. It's one it's an achievement called Nobody's Fool. And Basically, this one character tells another character the truth about the situation that they're in. And apparently, I think it's so rare because you have to have made a certain set of decisions.

01:14:19:17 - 01:14:21:05
Phil
So you just stumbled into it?

01:14:21:05 - 01:14:36:19
Kevin
I stumbled into it. These characters, basically, I think otherwise these two characters would be in the situation where one admits to the like. They wouldn't even be together in this one spot otherwise. So yeah, that's.

01:14:36:19 - 01:14:38:06
Phil
Basically love when that happens.

01:14:38:06 - 01:14:44:18
Kevin
So I ended up with this really rare achievement. Only 4% of players have gotten it.

01:14:44:18 - 01:14:52:22
Phil
So that that happens to be so frequently where it's just like, you got this team, Oh, great, good. And you look like, oh, I'm one of four people with this one.

01:14:53:01 - 01:14:53:07
Kevin
To.

01:14:54:08 - 01:14:55:10
Phil
Believe I pulled that off.

01:14:56:19 - 01:15:14:14
Kevin
Otherwise, I dipped back into vampire survivors a little bit then because I had to, they updated it, so I had to. Oh, and I also finally started playing Cruelty Squad.

01:15:14:14 - 01:15:15:08
Phil
How do you like it?

01:15:15:22 - 01:15:20:09
Kevin
I don't I'm not sure I. It's weird.

01:15:20:09 - 01:15:24:23
Phil
It is just just no.

01:15:26:22 - 01:15:33:19
Kevin
And so it's I can't describe the feeling of playing Cruelty Squad addicts is.

01:15:33:19 - 01:15:35:01
Phil
Such a mind fuck.

01:15:35:09 - 01:16:10:08
Kevin
It is like the amount of effort put into the game to make it look like that is. And the gameplay has a lot of good elements to it. There's a lot of there's some wonkiness to the controls that's also probably intentional. Everything about it. It's like a it's a thesis on intentionality, you know, it's like, okay, everything you're seeing is done specifically to evoke an emotion that's not necessarily fun.

01:16:11:11 - 01:16:14:05
Phil
Right?

01:16:14:05 - 01:16:32:06
Kevin
The name that's the name Cruelty Squad. And basically, yeah, it's an immersive sim. It's got 13 levels. I, you know, I'm, I beat the first level and I started on the second and I think I'm just going to play through it and see what's up. But it is it.

01:16:32:06 - 01:16:33:18
Phil
Is pass on this one.

01:16:33:18 - 01:16:36:12
Kevin
No, you don't. I don't play it.

01:16:37:09 - 01:16:39:18
Phil
Yeah, I don't I don't think this is.

01:16:39:18 - 01:16:41:03
Kevin
For and I think it's all you.

01:16:41:03 - 01:16:41:18
Phil
Fill.

01:16:41:18 - 01:16:46:15
Kevin
I don't think it's fair for you. This doesn't feel like a full game.

01:16:47:06 - 01:16:51:04
Phil
This doesn't feel like, you know, I it does not I don't.

01:16:51:11 - 01:16:57:00
Kevin
Normally I have a pretty good normally I have a pretty good sense for filled games and yeah he's fine but.

01:16:57:10 - 01:16:58:00
Phil
You do.

01:16:58:01 - 01:16:58:19
Kevin
Not a full game.

01:16:59:11 - 01:17:11:17
Phil
You've typically called it pretty well and this doesn't I think this is this is one of those things where I just kind of throw my hands up. The Seinfeld gift is not yeah.

01:17:11:17 - 01:17:15:18
Kevin
So yeah so yeah that's what I've been playing recently.

01:17:16:09 - 01:17:16:22
Phil
Nice.

01:17:17:03 - 01:17:45:14
Kevin
Yeah. Yeah. So that'll it for tonight's episode if you can. If you have the wherewithal to the gumption, the moxie, please follow us on social media at Pixel Pod on both Twitter and Instagram and give a visit to our website pixel it pod dot com where you can read of every episode. I post transcripts of the episode. Sure they're automated.

01:17:45:14 - 01:18:09:20
Kevin
Sure they have some wild misspellings of some weird things we say, but oh, it's fun. It's it is the best I can do for an hour and a half of content every week is is to use premiere's automated transcripts do it oh it's it's there for you so check out the transcript on transcripts on pixelate pod you from there you can find links to our discord.

01:18:10:03 - 01:18:32:06
Kevin
I do have to add a link to our steam group on the website. So oh yeah, yeah. Direct a drink link. Direct link from the website to the steam group. But yeah, that's a yeah pixelate product. Come check it out and rate his five stars on Spotify and Apple. Or if your pod catcher has a rating system, please write us five stars on that.

01:18:32:11 - 01:18:38:14
Kevin
It really helps us out. And what helps us out the most is sharing word of mouth is how podcasts grow.

01:18:39:00 - 01:18:40:03
Phil
And sharing is caring.

01:18:40:05 - 01:18:45:09
Kevin
Sharing is caring. Until next week. Have a good night, everybody.

01:18:46:03 - 01:18:56:06
Phil
Like.

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pixellitpod

Our website: https://www.pixellitpod.com

Our discord: https://discord.gg/NdwmVEwFbQ

Join our Steam Group: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/pixellitpod

PixelLit is the video game-literary nerd’s dream come true. It’s a podcast where we read and discuss video game novelizations, and the games they’re based on. This is a podcast for the former kid who read their instruction booklets cover to cover. For the gamer who listens to every audio log in Bioshock.

The PixelLit Podcast! Because the only thing better than playing a video game is reading about it.

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