Assassins Creed: Bloodstone

Phil and Kevin are back for another Graphic Novel, this time Assassins Creed: Bloodstone. I would say that we loved it but we all know that’s a lie. Halfway through the episode Phil goes on a rant about Assassins Creed games, so look forward to that!

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Speaker 1
He only he only apparently needs two wheels and the rest of the body is going away for a.

00:00:05:18 - 00:00:06:05
Speaker 2
Long.

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Speaker 3
Long range.

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Speaker 2
Sensors shut them down right now.

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Speaker 1
They're going silent.

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Speaker 2
They're going silent.

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Speaker 1
Just pass out.

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Speaker 2
You know what.

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Speaker 3
Is never silent?

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Speaker 1
What's that?

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Speaker 3
Hey there, everybody. I'm sorry I interrupted Phil's wine.

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Speaker 2
SIP, but welcome to Pixelate.

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Speaker 1
But there might be the most accurate one you've ever done. You know that silent pixelate.

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Speaker 2
Excellent. It's never.

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Speaker 1
We never shut the fuck up.

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Speaker 2
It's never silent. If you are looking.

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Speaker 3
For an hour to an hour and a half.

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Speaker 2
Of two middle aged geeks talking constantly.

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Speaker 3
You've come to the right show.

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Speaker 2
My name is Queens. With me, as always, is Phil. Hello. And today we are talking about the asks Creed assassins. Creed Bloodstone. Yeah, that's a graphic novel that's based based on the Ubisoft creation of the same name. So, yeah, you know, here's the thing. If you haven't heard of Assassin's Creed, first of all, I don't understand how you found us.

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Speaker 2
How did you get here? How did you get here? It's it's like the it's the Madden of.

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Speaker 3
Open World.

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Speaker 2
Games.

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Speaker 1
Here. Oh, wow, wow.

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Speaker 4
Wow.

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Speaker 1
A Kevin over here dropping goddamn truth bombs. It's that is poignant.

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Speaker 2
They got they got one that comes out like I don't know.

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Speaker 3
Every year or every other year at.

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Speaker 2
This.

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Speaker 1
Point.

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Speaker 3
It's it's a series developed by Ubisoft.

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Speaker 2
It was a created initially.

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Speaker 3
Because they were they're making a prince of Persia series.

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Speaker 2
And then they wanted to make it a open world. So they had the Sands of Time.

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Speaker 3
Prince of Persia game.

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Speaker 2
They're like, All right. I think. And I think Sands of Time was.

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Speaker 3
The one that they turned into that movie starring Jake.

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Speaker 2
Gyllenhaal.

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Speaker 1
They are. That is the one. That's the one.

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Speaker 2
So, you know, Ubisoft and dodgy adaptations who knew.

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Speaker 4
Who the fuck.

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Speaker 1
It. Right.

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Speaker 2
So do you think it.

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Speaker 1
Didn't say that comment.

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Speaker 2
Didn't see that coming. So yeah they they turned they they took a 3D adaptation.

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Speaker 3
Of Prince of Persia.

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Speaker 2
And they wanted to make a open world style game.

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Speaker 3
So instead of Prince Persia.

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Speaker 2
It became its own thing. And hence we have Assassin's Creed.

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Speaker 3
And the first.

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Speaker 2
One was released in 2007. It was set in the Middle East. I believe that was.

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Speaker 3
The first one. But the series really.

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Speaker 2
Did not pick up until 2009 when.

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Speaker 3
Assassin's Creed two.

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Speaker 2
Comes out and you have the my.

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Speaker 3
Favorite main character, in fact.

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Speaker 2
My only assassin that I truly loved, Etzioni auditory is.

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Speaker 3
There he.

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Speaker 2
Is assassin. He is is just, you know, just the best. And it was.

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Speaker 3
Set in Renaissance.

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Speaker 2
Italy, but since then.

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Speaker 3
There have been.

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Speaker 2
Assassin's.

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Speaker 3
Creed from pirates.

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Speaker 2
To colonial stuff to Native.

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Speaker 3
Americans, right?

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Speaker 1
Yeah. I wanted that. That was three. I wanted that one to be very good so badly I played more Assassin's. I think Assassin's Creed might be the franchise that I have hated the most and played the most of. Yeah, I keep for a long time. I kept giving them chances because it seemed like something I should like and I never liked it.

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Speaker 1
And then Black Flag came out and that one was great for the most part. And I kept giving them options and I and I wanted three to be good. And because I thought that was cool, Native Americans and colonial stuff and all that, and it was not. I think the last one I played was the Egyptian one that came out a few years back.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, I think the and, and the two.

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Speaker 3
Most recent ones have actually had pretty good reception overall.

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Speaker 2
And that is Odyssey and Valhalla and I played a bit of Valhalla. You know what's funny is I kind of like.

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Speaker 3
What they're going for in.

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Speaker 2
Valhalla. I played, you know.

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Speaker 3
Five, 7 hours of it.

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Speaker 2
Problem is, the beginning is.

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Speaker 3
Super duper slow. It takes a real long time to to really get.

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Speaker 2
Into out of the.

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Speaker 3
Tutorial sized area.

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Speaker 2
Because.

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Speaker 3
They're throwing a bunch of things in there that.

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Speaker 2
And it feels like it's like.

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Speaker 3
Okay, you're you're calling it Assassin's Creed.

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Speaker 2
Because it is you're just you're just.

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Speaker 3
Trying to use a name brand at.

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Speaker 2
This point, right? It could be.

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Speaker 3
Literally its.

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Speaker 2
Own game.

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Speaker 4
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
When they when they came out with the last three, those are all classical age.

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Speaker 2
There's settings, origins, you know.

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Speaker 3
The last three were Origins.

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Speaker 2
Odyssey and Valhalla.

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Speaker 1
And the. Yeah. And those were all ancient world things, which is a little different. They, you know, from the other ones which were still, you know, not too far in the past. Right. And they base yeah, they basically shifted up the, the dynamics of it didn't they. Like. Yeah, gameplay was really different.

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Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. Valhalla like you have, you have you.

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Speaker 3
Can control you.

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Speaker 2
Have like groups of Vikings that.

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Speaker 3
You can troll. There's like the.

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Speaker 2
Ships and all that stuff you're. Mm. They might have done some of that in the previous one.

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Speaker 3
Where you're a.

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Speaker 2
Greek.

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Speaker 3
Soldier.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah I was Odyssey.

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Speaker 2
Yeah Odyssey. But yeah. Valhalla is, is the.

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Speaker 3
Most recent.

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Speaker 2
One. And since then, Ubisoft has been.

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Speaker 3
Mired in a.

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Speaker 2
Poop ton of misconduct allegations. Ubisoft is just a garbage fire, and so continue to be. I feel like they did something dumb recently and I can't.

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Speaker 3
Remember.

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Speaker 2
Specifically.

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Speaker 1
Well, that's the thing between them and and Activision Blizzard and like another big one they just they're just constantly being swamped with all of this boys club bullshit that they refuse to properly handle. And so the news kind of blends together. You just know generally that all of them are kind of full of themselves on this one. And yeah, it's disappointing.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, they, they got into blockchain at the end of last year. I was right. I think they've backed off on that one yet.

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Speaker 1
You know who did who. Tesla.

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Speaker 2
Oh yes, they sure did.

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Speaker 1
As of today, they they sold 75% of their cryptocurrency investments because they were taking the pipe off. That is it that is.

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Speaker 2
And then.

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Speaker 3
Minecraft.

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Speaker 2
Basically said, hey, guess what, no nft shit.

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Speaker 3
In Minecraft.

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Speaker 2
That's against good the concept.

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Speaker 3
Of Minecraft.

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Speaker 2
And there was it is.

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Speaker 1
Distinctly against.

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Speaker 2
The currencies and there is an NFT.

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Speaker 3
Overlay.

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Speaker 2
Called like NFT.

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Speaker 3
World or something like.

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Speaker 2
That that was people used.

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Speaker 3
With Minecraft.

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Speaker 2
That just it got it got banned and its value went from having value to not having value.

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Speaker 3
Pretty much.

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Speaker 2
Overnight.

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Speaker 1
I mean, Kevin, let's be clear. It never had value.

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Speaker 3
It never had.

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Speaker 2
Value. It's not fake. The points don't.

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Speaker 3
Matter.

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Speaker 4
I know.

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Speaker 2
It's it's like, come on, guys, don't. Yeah, man, you're imaginary.

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Speaker 3
You're just investing imaginary money into more imaginary money, right?

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Speaker 1
Right. Money's not real. And you expect me to believe in Nfts? I don't.

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Speaker 2
I don't know, man. I believe so. That's pretty much the Assassin's Creed series. It said it's up to science. Mostly it's it's it's been mostly down.

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Speaker 1
I'm just going to write this down. Political rant shek.

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Speaker 4
We covered.

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Speaker 1
Our quota.

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Speaker 2
Covered a quota. We'll go over quota. I think we'll, we'll.

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Speaker 3
Probably.

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Speaker 2
Have have something else to say.

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Speaker 3
We're givers. We're givers.

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Speaker 1
We want we want people to have more like they.

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Speaker 2
Want to give.

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Speaker 3
Our unfiltered.

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Speaker 2
And.

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Speaker 3
Asked for.

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Speaker 2
Nobody asked us. But we're going to give it to you.

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Speaker 1
We're giving it to you.

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Pixelate going to give it to you and buy it. I mean, just tireless leftist rants.

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Speaker 3
That's just where we go. We're just going to get ranty.

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Speaker 2
At some point during the episode ever. For for those of you, we.

00:09:00:10 - 00:09:02:19
Speaker 1
Can't even blame drink because Kevin doesn't drink.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, no, I just. I just say it.

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Speaker 1
He's just naturally passionate, very people don't know who you're messing with here.

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Speaker 2
It's too much of a mission.

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Speaker 1
Kevin will fuck you up. I will. In the realm of.

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Speaker 2
Ideas, me and my summit diet cola.

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Speaker 1
Oh, Summit. Yeah, this is a new one. Yeah, I'm it.

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Speaker 2
I, it's all the brand.

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Speaker 1
Oh, I like all the. Okay, cool.

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Speaker 2
All these oh these a nice it's a fine store.

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Speaker 1
I like.

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Speaker 2
It.

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Speaker 3
I appreciate a story that.

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Speaker 2
Gives no fucks.

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Speaker 3
About merchandizing.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. And why would you at a store just throw it if I can get my right.

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Speaker 3
On the ground.

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Speaker 2
Like.

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Speaker 1
And they let their, they let their cashiers sit. Yeah. Because they, they, they're like oh you're a human being. Yeah. There's no.

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Speaker 3
Store. No one's going to answer.

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Speaker 1
Yeah, no.

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Speaker 2
Just like one phone and no one's going to answer.

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Speaker 1
But you know what? You're going to get all of your week's groceries for $60, so just do it, man. It's awesome. All the employees.

00:10:01:12 - 00:10:03:15
Speaker 3
Sponsor us and perhaps some other.

00:10:04:12 - 00:10:06:19
Speaker 2
Some other nonsense. If you walk down the hall of Shame.

00:10:08:17 - 00:10:10:00
Speaker 1
Pool nearly all the same day, their.

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Speaker 2
Pool noodles that you don't need a.

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Speaker 3
Beach chair.

00:10:14:00 - 00:10:14:04
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:10:14:12 - 00:10:17:08
Speaker 1
You know what would you like? A clock radio.

00:10:18:00 - 00:10:20:11
Speaker 3
A waterproof clock radio that you hang in your shower?

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Speaker 1
Absolutely.

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Speaker 2
It is seven.

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Speaker 1
99.

00:10:23:14 - 00:10:28:02
Speaker 2
799. It's not Bluetooth. No, it's literally just a.

00:10:28:03 - 00:10:30:15
Speaker 3
Clock radio waterproof that hangs.

00:10:30:15 - 00:10:31:00
Speaker 2
In your shoes.

00:10:31:00 - 00:10:32:09
Speaker 1
All am am.

00:10:32:11 - 00:10:34:09
Speaker 2
No, I am. So it's got.

00:10:34:09 - 00:10:36:02
Speaker 3
A lot of right wing talk radio.

00:10:36:02 - 00:10:38:18
Speaker 2
But you know what, 799 can't beat it.

00:10:39:07 - 00:10:43:20
Speaker 1
It's fun to shampoo yourself while listening to Rush Limbaugh's ghost, that's all.

00:10:44:03 - 00:10:49:12
Speaker 2
Yeah. Oh, man. That guy is so fucking dead, isn't he? He's dead. He's dead. Thank God, man.

00:10:49:12 - 00:10:50:00
Speaker 4
Hey.

00:10:50:19 - 00:10:52:21
Speaker 3
Don't pour one out for Rush Limbaugh. Drink it.

00:10:52:21 - 00:10:53:06
Speaker 2
Down.

00:10:53:16 - 00:10:54:10
Speaker 1
Drink it down.

00:10:54:10 - 00:10:56:06
Speaker 3
The celebration of cheers to yourself.

00:10:56:07 - 00:11:07:03
Speaker 2
It's ears sloshing anyway. Phil, can you tell us a little bit about the the author's?

00:11:07:17 - 00:11:21:06
Speaker 1
I'd be happy to, yes. This is a two issue comic run and it is written by Gimme Gimme. I'm thinking GMA please friends.

00:11:21:07 - 00:11:24:00
Speaker 2
Yes, it's it's Gil Deum.

00:11:24:01 - 00:11:53:00
Speaker 1
Thank you. See, I was kind of going in a weird Spanish Italian direction. Guilherme Dawson, who is a French writer who mostly does actually mostly work for higher stuff. This guy has done plenty of video game adaptation stuff, a lot more assassins, creed. But we've also got Devil May Cry and Lost Planet, of all things. Do you remember Lost Planet?

00:11:53:03 - 00:11:55:02
Speaker 2
All right. It sounds familiar.

00:11:55:02 - 00:12:13:22
Speaker 1
It was a I think it was a flagship 360 franchise. It was like it's like it's it's like a shooter based in Antarctica with well, not Antarctica, but like a frozen planet with giant, crazy alien monsters.

00:12:14:04 - 00:12:18:11
Speaker 2
Oh, you know what it looks like? It looks like the Aldi.

00:12:18:11 - 00:12:19:22
Speaker 3
Brand version.

00:12:19:22 - 00:12:21:23
Speaker 2
Of Dead Space.

00:12:22:17 - 00:12:26:09
Speaker 1
Yeah, very much so. Very much so. Less horror, more action.

00:12:26:18 - 00:12:27:08
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:12:28:02 - 00:12:50:18
Speaker 1
Very much so. I loved playing it, enjoying it, but it wasn't anything to write home about. Yeah, I'm just kind of amazed they adapted it to anything. He also did adaptations of The Little Prince, which is a which I believe if you're a French comic book writer, is required by law. Yeah, everybody has to.

00:12:51:07 - 00:12:54:23
Speaker 2
That said, yeah, you're not allowed to leave secondary school without.

00:12:54:23 - 00:13:28:06
Speaker 1
Yeah, you've got no choice when it comes to that sort of thing. It was illustrated by a neo Buffy who I know even less about. He's a he's an artist from Turin in Italy of the Shroud. Of the shroud, the famous shroud he's actually worked with. This isn't his first time working with a French writer. He's well known for working with the French scriptwriter Richard Marzano on a series called Clandestino.

00:13:29:14 - 00:13:36:10
Speaker 1
But other than that, Clandestino blend, Nino it's this. It's a spicy clandestino.

00:13:37:02 - 00:13:39:11
Speaker 2
I'm sorry to the Italians listening, but that.

00:13:39:13 - 00:13:54:05
Speaker 1
I am not. It's and and that's about all I could find about our artist. And then our colorist is Andrea Maloney. Picture not found.

00:13:55:17 - 00:13:58:05
Speaker 2
He is. He did not show up to picture day.

00:13:58:11 - 00:14:27:19
Speaker 1
No, no. Eight Italian colorist. So it is a French writer working with Italian artists on a cape aqua based video game. It is it is just the most insufferable accent you've ever heard in your life. Yeah. Comic books and Europeans who drink a lot of wine and hate Americans. So we're in for a lot of fun.

00:14:27:21 - 00:14:29:19
Speaker 2
We're in for a lot of fun, I think. Yeah.

00:14:30:17 - 00:14:31:22
Speaker 3
But we weren't.

00:14:32:08 - 00:14:35:08
Speaker 1
When we were. NARRATOR But they weren't, but they weren't.

00:14:35:08 - 00:14:37:22
Speaker 2
All right, so quick summary, because we're not we're.

00:14:37:22 - 00:14:39:11
Speaker 3
Not going to do a beat for beat for this.

00:14:39:11 - 00:14:40:21
Speaker 2
One because it's this.

00:14:41:04 - 00:14:43:22
Speaker 1
This might not be the longest episode we.

00:14:43:22 - 00:14:45:16
Speaker 2
Ever do. We're going to be a in a.

00:14:45:16 - 00:14:48:10
Speaker 3
Relatively short episode compared to some of our recent.

00:14:48:10 - 00:14:55:17
Speaker 2
Ones, just because oh, god, I can't tell you what happens. I was I was reading this and I was so.

00:14:55:17 - 00:14:56:06
Speaker 3
Concerned.

00:14:56:06 - 00:14:58:16
Speaker 2
That I missed something. Every page.

00:14:59:00 - 00:14:59:12
Speaker 1
Yes.

00:14:59:12 - 00:15:05:18
Speaker 2
So basically there's a guy. His name is true.

00:15:06:10 - 00:15:07:10
Speaker 3
Fuck, I already forgot.

00:15:07:10 - 00:15:08:06
Speaker 1
Is it Tomo?

00:15:08:06 - 00:15:18:13
Speaker 2
Tomo. Okay, tell. Yeah, Tomo. He was, uh, basically he was in an assassin hideaway camp when he was little and some.

00:15:18:13 - 00:15:18:22
Speaker 3
Rogue.

00:15:18:22 - 00:15:22:13
Speaker 2
Assassins came and killed his mother and his.

00:15:22:13 - 00:15:24:01
Speaker 3
Mother's boyfriend.

00:15:24:02 - 00:15:26:09
Speaker 2
Hajime basically takes.

00:15:26:09 - 00:15:27:09
Speaker 3
Tomo and raises a.

00:15:27:09 - 00:15:33:10
Speaker 2
Mass him as his own son, sort of, I guess. And it doesn't really flash.

00:15:33:10 - 00:15:37:02
Speaker 3
Forward 16 years because you the fuck cares about establishing their relationship.

00:15:37:02 - 00:15:43:17
Speaker 2
At all and Tomo has been spending his whole life up until this point searching.

00:15:43:22 - 00:15:44:11
Speaker 3
For the.

00:15:44:11 - 00:15:47:01
Speaker 2
Guy whose name is.

00:15:47:01 - 00:15:49:19
Speaker 3
Guam. Gorham.

00:15:49:20 - 00:15:55:22
Speaker 1
Gorham, what did you first off, your name is Gore. So okay, right there.

00:15:55:22 - 00:16:02:22
Speaker 2
More power to you, Guam. Guam. The gormless assassin who gormless.

00:16:02:22 - 00:16:03:15
Speaker 1
Overheard.

00:16:05:00 - 00:16:09:23
Speaker 2
It lacking intelligence. Okay.

00:16:09:23 - 00:16:11:03
Speaker 1
Kind of. Kind of dull.

00:16:11:03 - 00:16:13:16
Speaker 2
Dull it. So Gorham is supposed to be smart?

00:16:14:07 - 00:16:15:04
Speaker 1
I guess so.

00:16:15:04 - 00:16:17:18
Speaker 2
As, huh? I guess, yeah.

00:16:17:18 - 00:16:18:08
Speaker 1
I guess.

00:16:19:16 - 00:16:22:08
Speaker 2
I feel like it's one of those words that, like, no.

00:16:22:08 - 00:16:23:07
Speaker 3
Matter what form you.

00:16:23:13 - 00:16:25:12
Speaker 2
You put it like flammable and flammable.

00:16:25:19 - 00:16:30:20
Speaker 1
It's right. Yeah. Gorham fall also fucking stupid stuff.

00:16:30:21 - 00:16:36:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, stupid. Yeah, yeah. So he spent his life hunting for this guy named Gorham.

00:16:36:12 - 00:16:37:05
Speaker 3
And this is where the.

00:16:37:05 - 00:16:40:01
Speaker 2
Plot gets so convoluted.

00:16:40:14 - 00:16:45:02
Speaker 1
There's this. The plot thickens. And by thickens, we mean it gets dumber.

00:16:45:02 - 00:16:48:11
Speaker 3
It gets dumber. There's oh, there's way too much flour in the soup.

00:16:48:19 - 00:16:52:15
Speaker 2
You're thinking you're over thickening it. Oh, this is not a soup anymore.

00:16:52:15 - 00:16:53:06
Speaker 3
It's a true.

00:16:53:11 - 00:16:54:20
Speaker 2
What are you doing here?

00:16:55:09 - 00:16:57:01
Speaker 1
But it would be delicious and tasty.

00:16:57:21 - 00:17:00:18
Speaker 2
Tasty? Oh, no, it's. It's burning. It's getting chunks.

00:17:02:05 - 00:17:04:07
Speaker 1
How did it become the worst biscuit ever?

00:17:04:07 - 00:17:07:17
Speaker 2
It's turning into a biscuit in the pot. Oh, you're never going to get that.

00:17:07:17 - 00:17:09:02
Speaker 3
Out of your cast iron.

00:17:09:02 - 00:17:09:14
Speaker 2
Skillet.

00:17:09:20 - 00:17:11:13
Speaker 1
Not just throw it away, kids.

00:17:11:19 - 00:17:30:09
Speaker 2
Just throw it away. Go to Aldi and pick up a new pay Aldi. Remember the good times we're talking about Aldi. Anyway, he was awesome. She, he figures out that there's a doctor and she's mind wiping people using the thing. That's the.

00:17:30:09 - 00:17:32:15
Speaker 3
Absurd. Oh, whatever machine.

00:17:33:04 - 00:17:40:10
Speaker 2
That they use and all the damn assassin's Creed games which is all of them, because it's a dumb plot device. They should just.

00:17:40:11 - 00:17:44:16
Speaker 1
Like, yeah, can we put a pin on that and go off our rant there?

00:17:44:16 - 00:17:54:04
Speaker 2
Because it's a quick rant here. Do modern day stuff in Assassin's Creed. Is it most pointless bullshit ever?

00:17:54:16 - 00:17:55:22
Speaker 1
It's the worst. It is the.

00:17:55:23 - 00:17:58:19
Speaker 2
So every Assassin's Creed game would be.

00:17:58:19 - 00:18:00:06
Speaker 3
Made better if they just got rid of.

00:18:00:06 - 00:18:04:07
Speaker 2
It and it was just. Yeah. Doing a story about this guy.

00:18:04:19 - 00:18:08:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. That's all you need. Just an anthology series. That's fine.

00:18:08:00 - 00:18:09:00
Speaker 2
It's a head on a head.

00:18:09:16 - 00:18:11:19
Speaker 4
Yeah. Have you don't meet the monarch.

00:18:11:21 - 00:18:14:12
Speaker 1
Oh, okay. Yeah. The only.

00:18:16:13 - 00:18:16:14
Speaker 4
I.

00:18:18:06 - 00:18:18:20
Speaker 2
Might be black.

00:18:18:20 - 00:18:36:21
Speaker 1
Flag. I lose my shit. There is actually a video I will have to find it and send it to you, Kevin, so that you can like cut in audio of me doing a let's play back when I still did Letts plays, I did a Let's Play of Black Flag Assassin's Creed.

00:18:36:21 - 00:18:38:03
Speaker 3
Seven years ago.

00:18:38:03 - 00:18:38:21
Speaker 2
This is yeah.

00:18:38:23 - 00:19:00:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. Oh no, no. It was three. It was Assassin's Creed three. Yeah. And when you get to the last episode, it's like the last episode is an hour and a half and the last hour is just me going off on a rant on how pointless the absurd oh shit is about how every time you start to feel like you're building up some momentum and having fun in this world, you're like, You know what?

00:19:00:00 - 00:19:20:11
Speaker 1
The controls are kind of sloppy and and this is kind of weird and that feels a little padded. But you know what? This is fun, actually. It is kind of neat. And I'm having fun doing the jumps and stuff. And just when you're starting to get into that mode, they're like, you're in the real world again and you just have to start over.

00:19:20:11 - 00:19:42:03
Speaker 1
It's like every time you're about to climax, your dog comes in and punches you in the face. It just and for whatever reason you're convinced, I've got to finish it. So you've got to work yourself back up again while the dog's just over there wrapping his knuckles and go on. I'm coming for you, motherfucker. That's. That's Assassin's Creed.

00:19:44:00 - 00:19:45:10
Speaker 4
It's so frustrating.

00:19:45:11 - 00:19:53:21
Speaker 2
Assassin's Creed is. Is is your dog not. Not doing anything dog like, but punching you in the face?

00:19:54:07 - 00:19:55:00
Speaker 4
I, I.

00:19:55:09 - 00:19:59:17
Speaker 1
I may not be a dog owner. I may I may misunderstand what dogs are capable.

00:19:59:17 - 00:20:01:08
Speaker 4
I mean, it's it's fine.

00:20:01:08 - 00:20:02:02
Speaker 2
I know cats.

00:20:02:02 - 00:20:02:08
Speaker 3
Throw.

00:20:02:08 - 00:20:05:00
Speaker 2
Punches. I know cats. Well, yes, they different commands.

00:20:05:14 - 00:20:08:14
Speaker 1
Like a like a cat, but with more weight. That's what I was going.

00:20:08:14 - 00:20:09:04
Speaker 2
For a.

00:20:09:04 - 00:20:10:06
Speaker 3
Golden retriever.

00:20:10:14 - 00:20:13:16
Speaker 2
Walks in and just punches the shit out of you.

00:20:13:16 - 00:20:16:17
Speaker 4
Just decks you, just gets you just.

00:20:17:15 - 00:20:19:16
Speaker 2
Right, right in the face.

00:20:19:16 - 00:20:20:06
Speaker 1
Right the face.

00:20:20:06 - 00:20:31:01
Speaker 2
And you're not sure what happened. And you. You think maybe it was just a mistake and you continue on the second time? I mean, fool me twice, shame on me, you know?

00:20:31:06 - 00:20:32:00
Speaker 1
Right. This is.

00:20:32:00 - 00:20:34:02
Speaker 2
Kind of like Assassin's Creed and in.

00:20:34:04 - 00:20:34:19
Speaker 3
General.

00:20:34:19 - 00:20:52:22
Speaker 2
Is, you know, you play one of them and you're like, okay. And it all right, you know what? That's a shame on you. And then you play another one and it's like, really shame on me. And then you keep playing them and just shame.

00:20:52:22 - 00:20:56:03
Speaker 3
On me forever. Just forever, just forever.

00:20:56:08 - 00:20:58:11
Speaker 2
You just a sadness bowl of a game.

00:20:58:11 - 00:21:19:12
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's just. Yeah, and you just. You it's. And it's pretty enough and just interesting enough to keep you going to the next little, you know, checkpoint, essentially. And it just keeps going and you feel drained by the end of it. I don't know how they do it, but it's fucked up. Yeah. Anyway.

00:21:19:12 - 00:21:24:07
Speaker 2
Anyway, so the story continues with Telmo going.

00:21:24:07 - 00:21:26:16
Speaker 3
Undercover for the doctor who's doing.

00:21:26:16 - 00:21:31:04
Speaker 2
The thing and. And we get the twist that.

00:21:31:04 - 00:21:31:21
Speaker 3
The doctor is.

00:21:31:21 - 00:21:39:07
Speaker 2
Also lazy. No more an assassin. And she's.

00:21:39:07 - 00:21:40:07
Speaker 3
Part of the brotherhood.

00:21:40:21 - 00:21:42:19
Speaker 2
And she is doing it.

00:21:42:19 - 00:21:46:01
Speaker 3
For some reason. The reasons are unclear.

00:21:46:17 - 00:21:54:05
Speaker 2
And then tomo starts using the machine. She starts having Tomo use the machine to go back and find out what happened to this.

00:21:54:05 - 00:21:55:09
Speaker 3
Other SS rogue.

00:21:55:09 - 00:21:57:17
Speaker 2
Assassin who was.

00:21:57:18 - 00:21:59:18
Speaker 3
He has a Russian name. Who cares? Doesn't matter.

00:22:00:10 - 00:22:02:06
Speaker 1
Yeah. You trust me? Trust.

00:22:02:06 - 00:22:02:21
Speaker 3
Trust us.

00:22:02:22 - 00:22:03:20
Speaker 1
It does not matter.

00:22:03:20 - 00:22:08:12
Speaker 2
Who cares? Because he was. He was a guy.

00:22:08:23 - 00:22:10:11
Speaker 3
And they're trying to figure out.

00:22:10:11 - 00:22:26:00
Speaker 2
What happened to this guy named Pash. And there's moments in set in Vietnam and there's like hints that maybe it has something to do with Gulf of Tonkin and that there's.

00:22:26:03 - 00:22:26:21
Speaker 3
A scene where.

00:22:27:01 - 00:22:40:06
Speaker 2
One of the dudes assassinates JFK. And all the while we are the art. There is not one.

00:22:40:06 - 00:22:43:19
Speaker 3
Character that I can differentiate from another character.

00:22:44:06 - 00:23:03:15
Speaker 1
None. None. Do you remember do you remember that episode? I think it was like the third to last episode of Game of Thrones, The Battle, and it was like so dark and you couldn't see this is this is that in comic book form, you do not understand what's going on there. You're aware that things are happening.

00:23:03:15 - 00:23:08:22
Speaker 2
Names are coming so fast and so furious. And there's no Vin Diesel in sight.

00:23:09:15 - 00:23:12:02
Speaker 1
None. Just brown haired men.

00:23:12:02 - 00:23:15:02
Speaker 3
Just brown haired men, no family.

00:23:15:02 - 00:23:16:04
Speaker 2
There's no there's.

00:23:16:04 - 00:23:18:13
Speaker 3
No family here. This is not an Olive Garden.

00:23:19:00 - 00:23:23:06
Speaker 2
And and we we're we're just just.

00:23:23:06 - 00:23:27:12
Speaker 3
Brown, red haired men talking to each other about killing other brown haired man.

00:23:27:12 - 00:23:40:02
Speaker 2
Except there's a blond woman, but she's. And she's also pregnant, so she's clearly the most clearly the person. Anyways, some fucking shit happens.

00:23:40:02 - 00:23:41:18
Speaker 3
There's some twists and turns.

00:23:42:07 - 00:23:42:23
Speaker 2
And.

00:23:42:23 - 00:23:43:11
Speaker 3
Everybody.

00:23:43:11 - 00:23:44:13
Speaker 2
Dies by the.

00:23:44:13 - 00:23:45:12
Speaker 1
End. Everybody dies.

00:23:45:12 - 00:23:50:04
Speaker 2
Everybody dies except Tomo. And so a.

00:23:50:04 - 00:23:52:11
Speaker 1
Girl who isn't really a full assassin.

00:23:52:22 - 00:23:55:18
Speaker 3
Who wasn't really a fellow assassin, he was just remembering.

00:23:56:03 - 00:23:57:23
Speaker 2
How to be an assassin because.

00:23:58:05 - 00:24:01:01
Speaker 1
I think he was like an administrator of the SS.

00:24:01:10 - 00:24:04:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. He knew how to hack some computers. That's about it, right?

00:24:04:17 - 00:24:10:09
Speaker 1
Like he was one. It was kind of like it was like burn after reading where the guy works in the CIA.

00:24:10:09 - 00:24:13:11
Speaker 2
Analysts, you know like right you know how in.

00:24:13:11 - 00:24:15:00
Speaker 3
Clear and present danger.

00:24:16:20 - 00:24:17:06
Speaker 2
Jack.

00:24:17:06 - 00:24:17:21
Speaker 3
Ryan.

00:24:17:21 - 00:24:21:16
Speaker 2
Was not the guy that they put out in the fields. It's like in.

00:24:21:16 - 00:24:22:14
Speaker 3
Recent Jack Ryan.

00:24:22:14 - 00:24:23:18
Speaker 2
Movies, they made Jack.

00:24:23:18 - 00:24:24:02
Speaker 3
Ryan like.

00:24:24:02 - 00:24:29:12
Speaker 2
A bad ass and he is he was. That was actually the thing about the character pin in it.

00:24:29:16 - 00:24:33:00
Speaker 1
Okay, here we go. Here we go. We're pinning things to the things.

00:24:33:13 - 00:24:41:02
Speaker 2
Because we're not talking too much about this book. All right. The thing that everybody misses about.

00:24:41:02 - 00:24:42:17
Speaker 3
Jack Ryan stories.

00:24:42:22 - 00:24:43:07
Speaker 2
Since.

00:24:43:07 - 00:24:45:01
Speaker 3
Harrison Ford left the role.

00:24:45:07 - 00:24:45:16
Speaker 2
Is that.

00:24:45:16 - 00:24:46:15
Speaker 3
Jack Ryan is.

00:24:46:15 - 00:24:53:09
Speaker 2
Not a bad ass. He doesn't he's not the guy with the gun. He doesn't he's not the field.

00:24:53:09 - 00:24:54:01
Speaker 3
Experience.

00:24:54:01 - 00:25:07:01
Speaker 2
Guy. He talks his way out of situations and he gets the upper hand just by knowing things, not by by a shootout. And that was that was.

00:25:07:01 - 00:25:07:23
Speaker 3
How he was portrayed.

00:25:07:23 - 00:25:16:15
Speaker 2
When Harrison Ford played him. It's how Alec Baldwin played him. He's an analyst. Alec Baldwin. Yeah, Alec Baldwin played him. He's an analyst. He's an.

00:25:16:15 - 00:25:17:16
Speaker 3
Author. He writes.

00:25:17:16 - 00:25:19:19
Speaker 2
Books. That's that's what he does.

00:25:19:19 - 00:25:21:02
Speaker 3
That's what the character does.

00:25:21:20 - 00:25:27:07
Speaker 2
And then since then, he's become a little too action hero. Yeah.

00:25:27:17 - 00:25:47:13
Speaker 1
Inexplicably. And they and they cast John Krasinski to play him, I guess maybe to throw us off the trail of what they were trying to do. Yeah. You know, like, we're going to take, like, kind of a geeky hero, and we want to action star him up. Yeah. How can we do this in such a way that'll be more subtle and the audience will turn on us.

00:25:47:18 - 00:25:57:07
Speaker 1
Let's cast the smirking guy from the office, and that'll be fine. That'll make a difference. As if we wouldn't notice. But he still grew a beard.

00:25:57:07 - 00:26:00:23
Speaker 2
Still a beard still grew a beard.

00:26:00:23 - 00:26:02:02
Speaker 1
Yeah, unacceptable.

00:26:02:02 - 00:26:11:06
Speaker 2
Unacceptable. It was. They went Ben Affleck, Chris Pine and then John Krasinski. The last, last just.

00:26:11:06 - 00:26:11:19
Speaker 3
Going in the wrong.

00:26:11:19 - 00:26:15:02
Speaker 1
I like John Krasinski, but what the fuck is he doing playing that kind of.

00:26:15:02 - 00:26:20:04
Speaker 2
I'm ambivalent on John John Krasinski. He feels like he's he feels like a like a.

00:26:20:04 - 00:26:23:03
Speaker 3
Secret libertarian.

00:26:23:03 - 00:26:23:20
Speaker 2
Like like.

00:26:23:20 - 00:26:24:18
Speaker 3
Secret Nazi.

00:26:24:18 - 00:26:26:22
Speaker 2
Type thing, you know, secret level.

00:26:26:22 - 00:26:34:04
Speaker 1
I can't shake that. I didn't think that before, but now I can't shake that. Damn dammit, Kevin Foxx.

00:26:35:09 - 00:26:35:16
Speaker 4
Oh.

00:26:36:02 - 00:26:36:15
Speaker 2
God.

00:26:38:09 - 00:26:51:05
Speaker 1
When I got to put in a Google alert for John Krasinski, libertarian. No, that's. How do you spell libertarian anyway?

00:26:51:05 - 00:27:04:01
Speaker 2
Where were we pinned? Oh, yeah, they did that. Tomo gets away at the end because instead of giving the villain woman the access code.

00:27:04:01 - 00:27:06:00
Speaker 3
He gives her a Trojan horse code.

00:27:06:00 - 00:27:10:01
Speaker 2
That causes the the big, bad, evil thing that she's going to unleash.

00:27:10:01 - 00:27:10:17
Speaker 3
On the world.

00:27:10:23 - 00:27:14:00
Speaker 2
Which will wipe everybody's memories and have.

00:27:14:00 - 00:27:14:05
Speaker 3
Them.

00:27:14:05 - 00:27:15:22
Speaker 2
Remember something else.

00:27:16:18 - 00:27:17:08
Speaker 3
Or evolve.

00:27:17:08 - 00:27:20:11
Speaker 2
Humans. I don't know her. Her. What she want to do.

00:27:20:11 - 00:27:21:07
Speaker 3
Is really unclear.

00:27:22:17 - 00:27:30:21
Speaker 2
Anyway. It causes the thing to explode instead of doing that. And they get away in a helicopter.

00:27:30:21 - 00:27:32:01
Speaker 3
And that's the end of our story.

00:27:32:16 - 00:27:36:07
Speaker 2
Uh, this is automatically bottom of the bottom.

00:27:36:07 - 00:27:37:04
Speaker 3
Of the list for me.

00:27:37:04 - 00:27:38:06
Speaker 2
This, this, this is.

00:27:38:06 - 00:27:40:12
Speaker 1
This was worse than the Bloodborne series.

00:27:40:22 - 00:27:42:21
Speaker 2
Yeah. Blood. Well, Bloodborne one and two.

00:27:42:22 - 00:27:48:02
Speaker 3
Great. Yeah. Three, three. Looked better after reading. Four. Four was terrible.

00:27:48:17 - 00:27:49:08
Speaker 1
Four was terrible.

00:27:49:08 - 00:27:50:04
Speaker 3
Four was terrible.

00:27:50:21 - 00:27:52:16
Speaker 1
You think this was worse than dead space? Oh.

00:27:53:01 - 00:27:56:21
Speaker 2
Dead space. I could at least laugh.

00:27:56:21 - 00:27:57:13
Speaker 1
That's true.

00:27:57:15 - 00:28:00:00
Speaker 2
That's a series I could follow.

00:28:01:00 - 00:28:01:23
Speaker 4
Yes.

00:28:01:23 - 00:28:04:01
Speaker 1
Yes, that is absolutely true.

00:28:04:09 - 00:28:05:16
Speaker 2
That's exactly enco.

00:28:05:16 - 00:28:06:07
Speaker 3
Hear it.

00:28:06:11 - 00:28:08:14
Speaker 2
In storytelling. It would jump.

00:28:08:18 - 00:28:09:16
Speaker 3
Around.

00:28:09:16 - 00:28:16:11
Speaker 2
Like there's one scene where it's like Tomo wakes up and out of the.

00:28:16:11 - 00:28:18:07
Speaker 3
Hamster go machine or whatever.

00:28:18:07 - 00:28:20:20
Speaker 2
And but he's it's the old dude.

00:28:20:20 - 00:28:21:09
Speaker 3
The Russian.

00:28:21:09 - 00:28:25:04
Speaker 2
Guy is in his head and it's he's not tomo and he kills all the.

00:28:25:08 - 00:28:30:18
Speaker 1
Like. There's a bleed of the care of the person that he's in the thoughts. So there's like.

00:28:31:04 - 00:28:37:04
Speaker 2
There's like there's two, there's two panels where there's hijiri his adoptive.

00:28:37:04 - 00:28:38:12
Speaker 3
Father who's like, I'm sorry.

00:28:38:12 - 00:28:43:01
Speaker 2
Tomo, I have to do this. The next panel is. Yes, dead.

00:28:43:17 - 00:28:56:09
Speaker 1
Right? No, some. Yeah, he says, I have to do this. He's lurching towards him with the cool wrist knife thing. Yeah. And then an inexplicable panel where you can't tell what's happening happens, and then he's dead.

00:28:57:23 - 00:29:04:08
Speaker 2
There's no conflict, there's no battle. It's just skips right over that. Did it in.

00:29:04:08 - 00:29:04:19
Speaker 3
Favor of.

00:29:04:19 - 00:29:06:00
Speaker 2
Dialog.

00:29:06:00 - 00:29:22:02
Speaker 1
I'm so glad you brought that up, because that was that was a real like look, I was already like I was like, this is confusing and kind of convoluted and dumb, but whatever. And then that happened. It was like halfway through. Yeah. And I was like, What the fuck is going on?

00:29:22:21 - 00:29:23:11
Speaker 2
Nothing good.

00:29:23:11 - 00:29:26:09
Speaker 1
The storytelling is so fucked in this book.

00:29:26:16 - 00:29:28:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. Oh, God.

00:29:28:08 - 00:29:29:06
Speaker 3
It jumps around.

00:29:29:06 - 00:29:33:00
Speaker 2
Way too much. There is way too much reliance on dialog.

00:29:33:00 - 00:29:33:06
Speaker 3
For a.

00:29:33:06 - 00:29:34:04
Speaker 2
Visual medium.

00:29:34:04 - 00:29:34:15
Speaker 1
Oh, my.

00:29:34:20 - 00:29:39:20
Speaker 2
God. Yes, way too much. And you know what? I'm fine with talky comic books.

00:29:40:10 - 00:29:42:17
Speaker 3
Not Jim. I've read I've read Stan.

00:29:42:17 - 00:29:43:10
Speaker 2
Lee's.

00:29:43:22 - 00:29:44:10
Speaker 3
Work.

00:29:44:10 - 00:29:49:09
Speaker 2
Did the motherfucker could do like right. Would just fill.

00:29:49:09 - 00:29:51:00
Speaker 3
Pages with with words.

00:29:51:15 - 00:29:55:17
Speaker 1
Alan Moore. Alan Moore. I mean, come on. Who's more talky than Alan Moore?

00:29:55:17 - 00:29:57:21
Speaker 2
It's fine if you're good at it.

00:29:59:00 - 00:30:01:17
Speaker 1
Well, yeah, that is the key, isn't it?

00:30:01:22 - 00:30:05:11
Speaker 2
Here's the problem is that when you're good at it, you.

00:30:05:11 - 00:30:07:07
Speaker 3
Can understand the difference.

00:30:07:07 - 00:30:08:07
Speaker 2
In the way the.

00:30:08:07 - 00:30:11:10
Speaker 3
Dialog is written between your characters.

00:30:12:12 - 00:30:15:22
Speaker 2
But when you have nearly unidentifiable.

00:30:15:22 - 00:30:16:13
Speaker 3
Characters.

00:30:16:13 - 00:30:17:15
Speaker 2
Because the art.

00:30:17:16 - 00:30:19:01
Speaker 3
You're you have trouble.

00:30:19:01 - 00:30:20:02
Speaker 2
Like keeping.

00:30:20:03 - 00:30:20:14
Speaker 3
Track of.

00:30:20:14 - 00:30:29:11
Speaker 2
Who is saying what. And then the dialog is is so made, it's so hack, it's yeah.

00:30:29:13 - 00:30:30:12
Speaker 3
That there is.

00:30:30:12 - 00:30:32:00
Speaker 2
No, it's just dialog.

00:30:32:00 - 00:30:33:10
Speaker 3
There's nothing in there that.

00:30:33:13 - 00:30:36:15
Speaker 1
That, yeah. It just yeah. Just fills, it feels like it's filling the page.

00:30:36:16 - 00:30:39:00
Speaker 2
It's filling the page. This could.

00:30:39:00 - 00:30:40:03
Speaker 3
Have been really cool.

00:30:40:03 - 00:30:44:09
Speaker 2
If it was, if you just slimmed it down to.

00:30:44:20 - 00:30:46:08
Speaker 3
A revenge story.

00:30:47:00 - 00:30:47:09
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:30:47:16 - 00:30:50:08
Speaker 3
I just have one character doing a revenge story.

00:30:50:20 - 00:31:10:04
Speaker 1
I'll give you a great example. All right. Our podcast isn't going to be able to see us, but, you know, if you're listening on the podcast, Dawson Faber, Google, Assassin's Creed, Bloodstone, The Complete Collection. So you can see the cover because I want to analyze the cover. All right, so look at that. That's a pretty bad ass cover, if I do say so myself.

00:31:10:04 - 00:31:14:12
Speaker 1
As far as cover it, these are these are the two covers for the separate issue. Two issues.

00:31:14:12 - 00:31:14:18
Speaker 2
That as.

00:31:14:18 - 00:31:34:19
Speaker 1
Far as cover. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And and as far as cover art is concerned, pretty cool. And it actually was to the point that as we discussed before, you know, it's like Assassin's Creed and Vietnam, which I was like, Oh, fuck, how are they going to handle this? This could be this could be messed up or it could be really, really good.

00:31:34:19 - 00:31:59:10
Speaker 1
I don't know. This has and it seems to be setting up this idea of assassin and assassin on the American side and an assassin on the Vietnamese side, some sort of mix up. They think the other one's a Templar. And it's just this two issue story of these two badasses in the jungle hunting each other. And that could have been amazing.

00:31:59:14 - 00:32:12:05
Speaker 1
That could have been so much fun and like a total aliens versus predator, kind of like whoever wins, we lose kind of thing. Sure. And Vietnam has almost nothing to do.

00:32:12:05 - 00:32:14:16
Speaker 2
It is this story is completely incidental.

00:32:14:22 - 00:32:15:18
Speaker 3
To the story.

00:32:15:18 - 00:32:17:18
Speaker 2
Absolute need to even be there.

00:32:18:10 - 00:32:44:19
Speaker 1
Yeah. And they pay like lip service to like you mentioned before, they talk about the Kennedy assassination and the Bay of Tonkin kind of thing and then like like they play like pay lip service to the Assassin's Creed tradition, basically, of rewriting history a little bit so that like actual historical figures are involved in it, which, which honestly is sometimes done pretty well.

00:32:45:15 - 00:33:00:02
Speaker 1
Yeah. You know, and that's pretty cool. This is it's just a throwaway. It's just this little throwaway kind of thing that doesn't have it doesn't mean anything. That means nothing. And if it does.

00:33:00:05 - 00:33:00:19
Speaker 2
Lifeless.

00:33:00:19 - 00:33:02:10
Speaker 1
Then it needed to be better written.

00:33:02:10 - 00:33:02:18
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:33:04:11 - 00:33:31:06
Speaker 1
For context, I finished House of Leaves yesterday, the same day that I finished this. Yeah. For anyone who doesn't know what House of Leaves is, it's a 700 page book within a book. Within a book where the whole point of it is you've got to read footnotes and they take you to appendices in the back of the book.

00:33:31:09 - 00:33:40:00
Speaker 1
So I'm on page 16 and then it says, for more information, go to appendix three. Now I've got to read 20 pages out of the back of the book and then go back.

00:33:40:00 - 00:33:42:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, if an adventure game was a book, it would be House of Leaves.

00:33:42:23 - 00:34:03:00
Speaker 1
Yes, it is Twine the book. Yeah, that's what it is. And and it's very convoluted and very difficult to read. And it took me a month and a half to finish it, which I'm a pretty quick reader. That's a long time for me to spend reading a book, and some people spend their entire lives reading and analyzing it and going over it.

00:34:03:00 - 00:34:14:18
Speaker 1
Not for me, but Assassin's Creed. Bloodstone still made less sense and was more convoluted than House of Leaves. And I don't mean that in a good way.

00:34:14:18 - 00:34:25:21
Speaker 2
No. So in all the bad guys. Yeah. Wow. Also by the way, this badass lady at the bottom of the cover, if you've looked.

00:34:25:21 - 00:34:29:11
Speaker 3
Up the cover and I'm holding up on the YouTube version.

00:34:29:11 - 00:34:30:21
Speaker 2
Who kind of gives you like X.

00:34:30:21 - 00:34:31:14
Speaker 3
23.

00:34:31:14 - 00:34:32:11
Speaker 2
Vibes?

00:34:32:16 - 00:34:35:02
Speaker 3
Totally, totally daughter type vibes.

00:34:36:15 - 00:34:38:17
Speaker 2
She's barely in it. So don't get too excited.

00:34:38:17 - 00:34:50:09
Speaker 1
Barely, barely in it. And for the record, there is a final showdown between the two of them. They do actually get to fight each other. It lasts a panel and then it's over.

00:34:50:09 - 00:34:54:05
Speaker 2
Yeah, he kill. She kills him, right? They kill each other. They kill each other.

00:34:54:19 - 00:35:01:07
Speaker 1
It's literally that kind of, you know, ninja gaiden to, you know, to two ninjas that are like.

00:35:01:16 - 00:35:03:02
Speaker 2
I'm going to do action.

00:35:03:02 - 00:35:04:02
Speaker 3
Figures together and.

00:35:04:03 - 00:35:12:14
Speaker 1
Right, right. And then they both die. Yeah, that's like, that's yeah, that's literally what happens. It's meaningless.

00:35:13:14 - 00:35:16:10
Speaker 2
I do not recommend Assassin's Creed.

00:35:16:10 - 00:35:17:03
Speaker 3
Bloodstone.

00:35:17:15 - 00:35:24:12
Speaker 2
No, Bloodstone. No, Bloodstone Stone. Yeah. Mm. So anyway.

00:35:24:12 - 00:35:25:17
Speaker 1
It was bad.

00:35:25:17 - 00:35:28:12
Speaker 2
It was bad. It was very bad. It was very bad.

00:35:28:12 - 00:36:04:02
Speaker 1
Oh, and by the way, Guilherme Dawson is the founder of Game Fan magazine, which and like the more I look into his background here, there isn't much, but the more I'm seeing like this guy has worked within the video game sphere in like kind of a literary way. And so I'm assuming that's how Ubisoft came to and was like, Hey, do you want to you want to, you know, write some comic books and stuff like that, come to us instead, for God's sake?

00:36:04:08 - 00:36:12:21
Speaker 1
Yeah. I'm not I'm not going to pretend that Kevin and I are like, the greatest writers to ever. You know, Grace the page. No, but as long as you're.

00:36:12:21 - 00:36:13:14
Speaker 3
Hiring.

00:36:13:15 - 00:36:14:14
Speaker 2
If you're look at people.

00:36:14:14 - 00:36:15:16
Speaker 1
Who aren't famous.

00:36:17:02 - 00:36:18:02
Speaker 2
Yeah. Give us a take a.

00:36:18:02 - 00:36:18:13
Speaker 3
Flier on.

00:36:18:13 - 00:36:19:06
Speaker 2
Us. You know.

00:36:19:12 - 00:36:21:06
Speaker 1
We aren't free, but we can be bought.

00:36:21:06 - 00:36:24:00
Speaker 2
We can be bought easily. Absolutely. So easily.

00:36:24:15 - 00:36:27:06
Speaker 1
So easily.

00:36:27:06 - 00:36:28:04
Speaker 2
So I think that.

00:36:28:08 - 00:36:30:10
Speaker 3
We're not going to be too much of a dead horse for this.

00:36:30:10 - 00:36:32:20
Speaker 1
One. I think that's a no we're going to. Wouldn't you say.

00:36:32:20 - 00:36:41:18
Speaker 2
Yeah. So so to answer more fun things. Yes. What do you play in. Okay.

00:36:42:08 - 00:36:48:10
Speaker 1
So I started I'm still I finally quit dead space three.

00:36:48:12 - 00:36:49:02
Speaker 2
Oh, good.

00:36:49:12 - 00:36:50:20
Speaker 1
I did. I did the right thing.

00:36:50:20 - 00:36:51:10
Speaker 3
You did the right thing.

00:36:52:08 - 00:37:12:20
Speaker 1
I reached it's been buggy at times, which I don't you know, things that shit happens, especially with a game that's a little older. But I reached a point in the game where I kept auto dying and I couldn't figure out why, and I started, like, pulling up. Let's play some of it to see what I was doing wrong.

00:37:12:20 - 00:37:24:23
Speaker 1
I wasn't doing anything wrong. There was just it my version of the game. I was auto dying and I restarted it, tried it again and there was just I basically would have had to start all over and that wasn't going to be worth it.

00:37:24:23 - 00:37:26:11
Speaker 2
Yeah. No.

00:37:26:11 - 00:37:35:16
Speaker 1
So I, I took part in the definition of self-care and, and I, and I just went ahead and uninstalled dead space three.

00:37:35:18 - 00:37:40:22
Speaker 2
Didn't even stop playing. You didn't just stop playing. You just so you just you just quit.

00:37:41:18 - 00:37:46:10
Speaker 1
I traced it from the face of the earth. That is as far as my computer is concerned.

00:37:46:10 - 00:37:47:02
Speaker 2
That is.

00:37:47:07 - 00:37:49:18
Speaker 3
Tremendous. I'm very proud. Yeah.

00:37:50:11 - 00:37:52:04
Speaker 1
Thank you. I it feels good.

00:37:52:08 - 00:37:55:09
Speaker 2
It feels I finished it when I played it, but no, I understand.

00:37:55:09 - 00:37:56:06
Speaker 3
It's not worth.

00:37:56:06 - 00:37:59:19
Speaker 1
But you ll be. You're. You're a far superior gamer to me. The juice makes sense.

00:38:00:10 - 00:38:02:16
Speaker 3
Is not worth that proverbial squeeze.

00:38:02:17 - 00:38:02:23
Speaker 2
No.

00:38:04:00 - 00:38:05:07
Speaker 4
It's not.

00:38:05:07 - 00:38:08:13
Speaker 1
But you're a man who knows how to deal with punishment. Europe. You're a souls.

00:38:08:20 - 00:38:19:08
Speaker 2
Guy. Yeah. So, no, I play the Dark Souls series. Yeah, I put, you know, like, way too many hours into Elden Ring, right? Several hundred, by the way.

00:38:20:06 - 00:38:20:12
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:38:20:21 - 00:38:27:13
Speaker 1
And for those of you who recall our bonus episode with Pixel a day where we talked about Bloodborne.

00:38:27:13 - 00:38:28:19
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. You quit.

00:38:28:21 - 00:38:54:20
Speaker 1
I am. I am not good at that shit. Yeah. So, yeah, I was done. I was done in the I considered continuing my fabulous horror game streak, which has gone on for for the better part of the year, and instead decided to finally go ahead and boot up leisure suit. Larry, wet dreams don't dry part two.

00:38:54:20 - 00:38:56:16
Speaker 2
Oh, which is.

00:38:56:16 - 00:38:57:03
Speaker 1
Which is.

00:38:57:20 - 00:38:59:21
Speaker 2
Yeah if it if you don't know Phil.

00:39:00:01 - 00:39:00:20
Speaker 3
Personally.

00:39:03:00 - 00:39:04:23
Speaker 2
Leisure suit if if if.

00:39:04:23 - 00:39:06:01
Speaker 3
Phil were a video.

00:39:06:01 - 00:39:12:04
Speaker 2
Game it would be a leisure suit.

00:39:12:04 - 00:39:14:13
Speaker 1
Larry Yeah, yeah.

00:39:14:14 - 00:39:15:07
Speaker 2
Maybe not like.

00:39:15:15 - 00:39:16:22
Speaker 3
Maybe not like present day.

00:39:16:22 - 00:39:19:00
Speaker 2
Phil But, but, you know.

00:39:19:00 - 00:39:19:20
Speaker 1
Back in the day.

00:39:19:20 - 00:39:21:00
Speaker 3
Like three years ago.

00:39:21:17 - 00:39:38:20
Speaker 1
There was a little yeah shop, there was, there was a little Larry and me. Yeah, it and I always loved that franchise. I still am entertaining the idea of writing a short history of leisure suit. Larry, as a as a book.

00:39:38:20 - 00:39:39:15
Speaker 2
Yeah, that would be fun.

00:39:40:10 - 00:40:10:05
Speaker 1
Maybe for boss fight books if. If they'll accept my pitch, you know that kind of thing. Yeah, I did interview aloe and you know, I've got and I actually I interviewed the voice of leadership Larry too. So yeah, I've got I've got material orchid and now this this particular game is kind it's part of sort of a reboot of the series that started, I want to say, three or four years ago with Wet Dreams Don't Drive.

00:40:10:05 - 00:40:23:21
Speaker 1
Yeah. And it's a German development company that picked it back up again because Leo shoot, Larry was an old adventure game way back in the eighties and nineties. The point and click kind of it wasn't was it LucasArts.

00:40:23:21 - 00:40:26:03
Speaker 2
Was no no no it was Sierra.

00:40:26:03 - 00:40:56:05
Speaker 1
Sierra thank you. Yes it was Sierra. Yeah. And, and it got kind of developed in the modern age with varying levels of success, varying not not high levels of success. And a few years back, a German development studio picked it up and tried to create this kind of impossible task of creating a non PC. And by that I mean politically correct video game franchise the modern age.

00:40:56:11 - 00:41:22:12
Speaker 1
And I actually think that with that first one what dreams don't dry they did a great job actually it is still stoup bid sexy dad humor with just dumb dirty jokes he's an idiot. Yeah, but he's also not a dirt bag like, not entirely a dirt bag. It's far more friendly to, you know, gay folks and transgender folks stuff.

00:41:22:12 - 00:41:39:09
Speaker 1
It it doesn't it doesn't punch down right the way that the old franchise did, which it was more acceptable in the eighties and nineties. That was just part of it. Right. And they did a really good job with it. And so I've, I've started playing the second one and so far so good. It's the same.

00:41:39:09 - 00:41:40:18
Speaker 2
Thing. Same vibe, yeah.

00:41:41:09 - 00:42:03:15
Speaker 1
Yeah, same vibe. It's a dumb sense of humor which I like. Yeah. Know it, you know. Yeah. It's, it is your standard, you know, nine verb style kind of adventure and you know, picking up everything and trying to combine things and maybe this will help you, you know, get through. Maybe it won't. But I'm very early into it.

00:42:04:02 - 00:42:09:02
Speaker 1
But so far I'm really enjoying it. So that's what I've been playing. Good. What about you, Kevin? What are you playing?

00:42:09:13 - 00:42:22:11
Speaker 2
I have gone back to. To two of my bullshit. I am back on my bullshit two times over. First XCOM two is.

00:42:22:12 - 00:42:26:20
Speaker 1
Oh, I saw you playing that the other day. You saw that same motivation for you.

00:42:27:05 - 00:42:28:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, it's.

00:42:28:12 - 00:42:30:11
Speaker 3
It's I fired that back up.

00:42:32:00 - 00:42:37:12
Speaker 2
And that's going fine. I have been stuck on one mission that I keep saves coming.

00:42:37:12 - 00:42:38:06
Speaker 3
Over and over.

00:42:38:06 - 00:42:38:17
Speaker 2
Again.

00:42:39:14 - 00:42:41:02
Speaker 1
It's because.

00:42:41:15 - 00:42:42:08
Speaker 2
So it's I'm.

00:42:42:08 - 00:42:43:04
Speaker 3
Playing the war of the.

00:42:43:04 - 00:42:47:14
Speaker 2
Chosen, which is the okay. The XCOM to the second.

00:42:47:14 - 00:42:47:22
Speaker 3
Version.

00:42:47:22 - 00:42:49:17
Speaker 2
Of XCOM to sort of like how.

00:42:50:00 - 00:42:51:02
Speaker 3
The first one.

00:42:51:02 - 00:42:52:12
Speaker 2
Was enemy unknown.

00:42:52:12 - 00:42:53:21
Speaker 3
And then there's a second version.

00:42:53:21 - 00:42:56:22
Speaker 2
Enemy within.

00:42:56:22 - 00:42:57:23
Speaker 3
There's two versions of.

00:42:57:23 - 00:42:58:08
Speaker 2
XCOM.

00:42:58:08 - 00:42:58:19
Speaker 3
Two, there's the.

00:42:58:19 - 00:43:00:12
Speaker 2
Vanilla and then there's XCOM two.

00:43:00:12 - 00:43:00:20
Speaker 3
War of the.

00:43:00:20 - 00:43:09:13
Speaker 2
Chosen. The War of the Chosen introduces these chosen these chosen.

00:43:09:13 - 00:43:10:12
Speaker 3
Three are chosen.

00:43:10:12 - 00:43:13:02
Speaker 2
Enemies, and they can.

00:43:13:02 - 00:43:18:10
Speaker 3
Appear when you're operating in their sphere of influence, they can appear just.

00:43:18:10 - 00:43:23:12
Speaker 2
Basically in any of the missions. So this one mission, which already was.

00:43:23:12 - 00:43:24:17
Speaker 3
Structured, really.

00:43:24:17 - 00:43:28:13
Speaker 2
Difficult, it's a it's a.

00:43:28:13 - 00:43:31:11
Speaker 3
City area where you have to grab a.

00:43:31:11 - 00:43:31:21
Speaker 2
Bunch of.

00:43:31:21 - 00:43:33:02
Speaker 3
Supply crates.

00:43:33:11 - 00:43:34:01
Speaker 2
Tag a bunch of.

00:43:34:01 - 00:43:34:10
Speaker 3
Supply.

00:43:34:10 - 00:43:40:08
Speaker 2
Crates, but there's a bunch of lost in the area. So you can't use explosives.

00:43:40:19 - 00:43:43:05
Speaker 3
Because every time you use an explosive, it tracks another.

00:43:43:05 - 00:44:00:05
Speaker 2
Lost swarm and then the chosen shows up, the assassin chosen. So it's full of Advent, full of lost, four of chosen. And there's a ticking clock to get the supply crates. And I have a feeling that I'm just going to.

00:44:00:05 - 00:44:00:12
Speaker 3
Hunker.

00:44:00:12 - 00:44:01:15
Speaker 2
Down and.

00:44:02:06 - 00:44:04:10
Speaker 3
Not worry about supply crate part of it.

00:44:04:10 - 00:44:12:05
Speaker 2
Because the only real thing I got to do is eliminate all hostiles. So I'm just going to ignore.

00:44:12:05 - 00:44:13:04
Speaker 3
The supply crates next.

00:44:13:04 - 00:44:15:09
Speaker 2
Time I take a crack at it.

00:44:15:09 - 00:44:17:21
Speaker 1
I think that's the best thing for. Yes, I know that.

00:44:19:07 - 00:44:27:00
Speaker 2
Yeah. I'm back in the XCOM two like like micro analyzing one specific mission that I just get hung on for.

00:44:27:11 - 00:44:28:15
Speaker 3
You know, ours.

00:44:28:15 - 00:44:29:18
Speaker 2
Type of, type of.

00:44:29:18 - 00:44:30:08
Speaker 3
Playthrough.

00:44:31:08 - 00:44:47:16
Speaker 1
Well, I think that makes a lot of sense with the with those lost episodes because our issues the issues episodes the missions levels. Yeah Jesus. Because those can so fun because head shotting them and getting the fences to them.

00:44:47:17 - 00:44:48:00
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:44:48:10 - 00:44:56:05
Speaker 1
Yeah. And it just you start to feel confident, overconfident and then chosen. Come in and you just get fucked.

00:44:56:07 - 00:44:57:03
Speaker 4
Yeah. Yeah.

00:44:58:05 - 00:44:59:06
Speaker 1
It makes sense. And the.

00:44:59:06 - 00:45:00:20
Speaker 2
Other thing I've been playing is.

00:45:00:20 - 00:45:01:18
Speaker 3
Returnal.

00:45:01:18 - 00:45:05:11
Speaker 2
So, all right, so I be.

00:45:05:11 - 00:45:06:04
Speaker 3
Returnal.

00:45:06:17 - 00:45:14:23
Speaker 2
I want to say at the end of last year or beginning of this year, so I have beaten the base.

00:45:14:23 - 00:45:15:19
Speaker 3
Game of Returnal.

00:45:15:19 - 00:45:16:01
Speaker 2
But.

00:45:16:15 - 00:45:19:01
Speaker 3
Housemarque released a 3.0.

00:45:19:01 - 00:45:28:22
Speaker 2
Update to the game which introduced co-op and a new endless mode. It like basically a new biome called.

00:45:28:22 - 00:45:30:09
Speaker 3
The Tower of Sisyphus.

00:45:31:10 - 00:45:32:18
Speaker 2
Okay, where.

00:45:33:01 - 00:45:34:01
Speaker 3
There are story.

00:45:34:01 - 00:45:37:01
Speaker 2
Elements that happen in it. But it's basically it's just a.

00:45:37:01 - 00:45:37:19
Speaker 3
Biome where you.

00:45:37:19 - 00:45:39:04
Speaker 2
Can just keep as long as.

00:45:39:04 - 00:45:40:09
Speaker 3
You are alive.

00:45:40:09 - 00:45:41:18
Speaker 2
You can keep going up into.

00:45:41:18 - 00:45:46:11
Speaker 3
Different rooms and fighting your way up. But there's no top of the tower. It's.

00:45:46:11 - 00:45:49:01
Speaker 2
It's like the story of this office you.

00:45:49:09 - 00:45:54:12
Speaker 3
Yeah. You're at the boulder will eventually roll back downhill, but it's really.

00:45:54:12 - 00:45:59:18
Speaker 2
Fun. I'm having a blast with with the Tower of Science office in in Returnal.

00:46:00:23 - 00:46:02:13
Speaker 1
I remember you saying how much you liked.

00:46:02:13 - 00:46:03:07
Speaker 2
I love.

00:46:03:07 - 00:46:03:22
Speaker 3
Returnal.

00:46:04:11 - 00:46:05:21
Speaker 2
Going when I went back to it.

00:46:06:05 - 00:46:07:14
Speaker 3
The reason I started.

00:46:07:14 - 00:46:12:18
Speaker 2
Going back to it is because I was on YouTube and Jesse Cox.

00:46:14:17 - 00:46:15:05
Speaker 3
Over on.

00:46:15:05 - 00:46:21:20
Speaker 2
His his twitch clips channel Cox clips. He he's been.

00:46:21:20 - 00:46:24:17
Speaker 3
Playing Returnal recently. He started doing it first.

00:46:24:17 - 00:46:25:21
Speaker 2
He dipped his toe.

00:46:25:21 - 00:46:27:01
Speaker 3
In the water with co-op.

00:46:28:11 - 00:46:47:06
Speaker 2
And then he's been, you know, going through the game on his own. And I was like, I got to go check out new updates and all that stuff. So I'm playing it and it's, it's my jam. It's a lot of fun. And I might go ahead because I've been really limiting.

00:46:47:06 - 00:46:48:02
Speaker 3
By purchases of.

00:46:48:02 - 00:46:50:06
Speaker 2
New games, I might go.

00:46:50:06 - 00:46:51:23
Speaker 3
Ahead and try to platinum returnal.

00:46:52:01 - 00:47:05:14
Speaker 2
While I'm, while I'm at it. Why not? And I did buy though and I haven't touched it yet. Stray Oh, and I.

00:47:05:14 - 00:47:07:12
Speaker 1
Need to know all about striking.

00:47:07:12 - 00:47:08:11
Speaker 3
Forward too.

00:47:08:11 - 00:47:09:07
Speaker 2
To playing.

00:47:09:07 - 00:47:09:21
Speaker 3
Stray.

00:47:10:07 - 00:47:17:05
Speaker 1
And I've heard so many people talk about it, but no one's actually saying whether they like it or not.

00:47:17:05 - 00:47:18:07
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think and it's.

00:47:18:07 - 00:47:18:19
Speaker 1
Driving me.

00:47:18:19 - 00:47:21:15
Speaker 2
Crazy. I think I'm going to I'll tell you whether.

00:47:21:15 - 00:47:23:18
Speaker 3
It's whether it's whether.

00:47:24:07 - 00:47:31:09
Speaker 2
It's it would be a fill game or not. It's got a radio, it's got a cat in it. So it's got looks like June and it looks like your.

00:47:31:09 - 00:47:32:10
Speaker 1
Cat looks like my voice.

00:47:32:11 - 00:47:37:20
Speaker 2
And Jonesy it's so he does it so sweet. It's so so I love it.

00:47:37:20 - 00:47:41:01
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. That, that looks like would be a lot of fun. Yeah.

00:47:41:10 - 00:47:47:03
Speaker 2
So that's what I've been playing and that's, that'll do it for today's episode.

00:47:47:18 - 00:47:49:14
Speaker 1
Yeah. I'd say that's a full episode.

00:47:49:14 - 00:47:57:04
Speaker 2
Full episode. It's a little shorter than normal but you know we don't want to beat a dead horse. Beat a dead assassin.

00:47:57:04 - 00:47:58:05
Speaker 3
And or a Templar.

00:47:59:07 - 00:48:13:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, in both. Both. Yeah, both. Oh, so next week we should be starting and we'll have a guest for a couple of episodes if.

00:48:13:19 - 00:48:14:18
Speaker 3
Schedules work out.

00:48:14:18 - 00:48:18:15
Speaker 2
I think they will. And that should be a lot of fun.

00:48:19:04 - 00:48:23:13
Speaker 3
And we're we're just winding through this year before you.

00:48:23:13 - 00:48:41:00
Speaker 2
Know it, it's going to be it's going to be spooky season with with. Oh, yeah. Some spooky books coming up. It's going to be a blast. We have a lot of fun stuff planned for the second half of the year. So if you want to give us give us a hand, please follow us.

00:48:41:00 - 00:48:42:20
Speaker 3
On Twitter and Instagram at.

00:48:42:20 - 00:48:51:04
Speaker 2
Pixel Pod. And also, if you can if you can.

00:48:51:13 - 00:48:54:07
Speaker 3
There we go. Your audio like cut out for a second there I was like.

00:48:54:16 - 00:48:57:18
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah there's something started I muted by.

00:48:57:18 - 00:48:58:04
Speaker 2
Something else.

00:48:58:04 - 00:49:02:02
Speaker 1
Again we're starting things got we've got to keep mute.

00:49:02:11 - 00:49:04:06
Speaker 2
If you want to give us a hand, please follow us.

00:49:04:06 - 00:49:05:08
Speaker 3
On Twitter at Pixel.

00:49:05:08 - 00:49:06:03
Speaker 2
At Pod and.

00:49:06:03 - 00:49:07:07
Speaker 3
On Instagram at same.

00:49:07:07 - 00:49:12:15
Speaker 2
Handle pixel. The pod if you want to check out our website Pixelate podcast, it has.

00:49:12:15 - 00:49:15:01
Speaker 3
All of our episodes posted with transcriptions.

00:49:15:01 - 00:49:19:13
Speaker 2
Of each episode and also links to our discord and to.

00:49:19:13 - 00:49:21:00
Speaker 3
Our Steam curator.

00:49:21:00 - 00:49:26:06
Speaker 2
Page. Another big help would be rating US.

00:49:26:06 - 00:49:27:10
Speaker 3
Five stars on Apple.

00:49:27:20 - 00:49:34:09
Speaker 2
Reading is five stars on Spotify. Now we are on good pods. So if you want.

00:49:34:09 - 00:49:36:14
Speaker 3
To, you can read us five stars per.

00:49:36:15 - 00:49:46:16
Speaker 2
Episode on Good pods so that ooh yeah it's actually episode gets its own rating. Yeah. And comments and, and all that. If you're going to comment don't.

00:49:46:16 - 00:49:48:11
Speaker 3
Make it weird or make it really weird.

00:49:49:05 - 00:49:54:07
Speaker 1
Or either either go big or fuck off. Yeah. Like if you're going to make it weird, you better make it.

00:49:54:07 - 00:49:57:06
Speaker 2
We make it really, really weird.

00:49:57:06 - 00:49:59:08
Speaker 1
Really uncomfortably weird.

00:49:59:08 - 00:50:02:02
Speaker 2
Yeah. Anyway, have a good night.

00:50:02:02 - 00:50:11:20
Speaker 1
Enjoy your night.

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pixellitpod

Our website: https://www.pixellitpod.com

Our discord: https://discord.gg/NdwmVEwFbQ

Join our Steam Group: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/pixellitpod

PixelLit is the video game-literary nerd’s dream come true. It’s a podcast where we read and discuss video game novelizations, and the games they’re based on. This is a podcast for the former kid who read their instruction booklets cover to cover. For the gamer who listens to every audio log in Bioshock.

The PixelLit Podcast! Because the only thing better than playing a video game is reading about it.

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